GHOSTS OF BOYFRIENDS PAST
Dear Davy Jones, This weekend has been peaceful and drama free. I thank God for that.
New month, new struggles. Valentine’s day is coming/ elections. Something tells me I am roasting. Did you know that Fifty Shades of Grey will premier that day? So I heard. I have seen the trailer -_-. Christian Grey tinz. Lol. Thanksgiving Sunday in church. I hate crowds mehn.
I detest thanksgiving Sundays. It is a fashion parade. This one is even worse. The theme centres on job seekers and applicants – a lot of young people. I thought they have no jobs, therefore no money. How come everyone is looking gorgeous? When I have had as much as I could take, I decide to find my way home. Thank God my Daddy thinks like me. It is an unspoken rule in my house. Once thanksgiving services extend beyond 12 noon, my Dad goes to wait in the car and gives us a thirty minutes grace period to appear. If not, we are to find our way home ourselves. This time, I am thinking I will beat him to it.
Grumbling as I walk, I am too caught up in my lamentations to notice that I have a companion. I nearly stumble when I feel damp fingers on my left elbow. I abruptly turn around and voila, there he is. ‘Oh My God! Look at you! Segun!’ He laughs. ‘Mayen. I have been trying to get your attention since forever. How are you doing?’
‘Fine. Fine. You know, just lounging here and there’. So we stand there nodding at each other like Agama lizards, grinning from ear to ear. He takes my hands to squeeze them, like he used to. I actually move back, but this traitor of a heart that I have won’t let me forget it. We stand there for like ten minutes, looking, watching, nodding. I clear my throat and fold my arms across my chest. I manage to say, ‘This is bizarre.’ He laughs again. ‘You still talk funny. Who says ‘bizarre’? People say ‘weird’ these days. By the way, you look good. Beautiful’. He takes my hands again. This time, I am hoping he squeezes them. He doesn’t. ‘I am unemployed. I have faith though. I went for two interviews last week’. I try to smile. ‘All is well’. God knows I am abysmal at these sister-in-the-lord moments. He continues, ‘How is school. Just one year abi?’ ‘Yeah’. At this point, I am wondering where this is going. This is somebody that I had not spoken to in nearly half a decade. He shifts uncomfortably as if he can read my thoughts. ‘Mayen..’ I hold my breath. ‘I have been thinking a lot about the past’. I try to cut him off, but he is adamant. ‘Please, listen to me. You were good for me then. But we were young. I was insecure…’ I quickly add, ‘and stupid.’ ‘yes, stupid. I thought I knew everything and had it all figured out. I just want you to know that if you have not forgiven me, I understand. But I do hope that we can be friends.’ Did he just put me in the friend zone? ‘Why are we having this conversation?’ ‘Mayen, I found a girl I really like. I don’t want to spoil it. I’ve wanted to do this since. I was not brave enough…’
‘I get the drift. You want to move on with your life, but you are afraid some ghost from the past is lurking around somewhere. I hold no grudge. You did what you had to. I wish you the very best’. As I turn to leave, he takes my hands and this time, he squeezes them ever so gently. I think I am going to cry. ‘Thank you, mayen’. ‘I blink back the tears as I manage a small, ’don’t mention it’
I don’t know much about psychology but I guess I just experienced what the psychologists call Closure.
Dear Davy Jones, School o. Will they really shut down the school for the elections? That’s how my brother had to ruin my day. Dad decided to drop us at school today. What’s the first thing that will come out of the mumu’s mouth in the car? – ‘So, what were you and Segun talking about yesterday?’ I am going to kill that boy.
Let me tell you a secret -_-
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