The Secret Diaries of a Perfect Law Student

see this one…


Mar. 29
Dear Davey Jones, I am so pissed right now. How could Donald do this? How could he invade my private space and convert my diary by using it? He even called me a retard in my own diary. Who does that? I’m still very mad at Donald, Davey, extremely mad… It is not his fault, the cretin (yes, he deserves it) has started kissing girls.

Apr. 1
 It’s official, I am a fool.
Okay, lemme give you a background to the whole incident. Jerry Maguire and Hitch are like my best romantic comedies of all time. You know Dare? We liked each other in year one but we just didn’t act on it, so we are friends – really close and all that, but there is always more to the story. So, I am always hoping that something will happen…
On a normal day, I can never be caught dead sitting at the Law Lounge. So, today I feel my ears twitch as I sit at the lounge waiting for my toast. Trust me, that is not a good sign. My friends soon storm the lounge – Laide, Kelechi, Hadiza, Cynthia. I don’t get why we always move in droves. We are gisting – about how everyone in year five is driving a car, the rich men in our faculty, the fine year two boys, newest couple, lss office and its untidiness, the vp/headgirl of lss, and many things like that. They end up ordering toast like me and we are constituting a nuisance in the Lounge to the annoyance of every one.
That’s when Dare walks in and comes towards our table which is beside the steps which lead to the Upper Lounge – which is weird because Dare detests (yh, he can’t stand them) my circle of friends. Then he does the weirdest thing, he ignores my friends and looks directly into my eyes. And am like, ‘Okay, what’s going on here?’ He is between the steps and my table and because am at the head of the table, he is opposite me. He seems to be struggling with his speech. My friends and I are puzzled. He says ‘hello’. I interlock my knuckles and place them under my chin as I try to figure out what is going on. His eyes look glazed, and he is staring at me like he is just seeing me for the first time, like all those romcoms. That’s when my radar goes off. But, he won’t let me talk. He says, ‘I am looking for my wife’. I am actually speechless, cuz Dare knows I don’t joke with Jerry Maguire. I have made all my ex-boyfriends watch it and it is no secret that I know the words of the last scene by heart.
Everybody is looking at us now. Cuz we are always like, ‘we are just friends, we are not dating ooo’. And I am wondering when I started believing that lie because that feeling has always been there. And I am like , ‘what are you doing? Dare, you are creating a scene’ Then he goes, ‘’Yeah, that’s what people do. They leap and hope to God that they can fly. Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, ‘Why in the hell did I jump?’ But here I am Mayen, falling and there is only one person that makes me feel I can fly. That’s you.’’(My second favourite quote from Hitch) I feel the tears pool at the back of my eyes and my jaws drop to the floor. I move back and lean on the counter holding the toasters and coolers of food. I think I like this Dare. But I can’t believe he is declaring his love for me in public. He seems stuck, but I decide I won’t make it easy for him. I know I have this mushy look on my face, but I still fix my gaze upon him.
Then he says what I have been waiting for (the last scene in Jerry Maguire *edited*). ‘We live in a cynical world and we are studying a course for tough competitors. {Pause}. {Lowers his voice a bit} I love you. {Pause} You. Complete. Me.’ But my tears won’t let me say the last line. They flood my face. Dare comes closer {Of course, kisses always follow love declarations}. We manage a hug, but before we get caught in the moment, some of our class mates run into the lounge screaming, ‘APRIIIIIIIIILLLLL FOOOOOL!!!!’
Apr. 2
Dear Davy Jones, I feel betrayed. I cried myself to sleep yesterday night. I can’t go to the faculty this week. Am going home for the Easter break. I still haven’t picked Dare’s calls. How could he do that to me? He was the only person who knew how I really felt and he decided to make a big joke out of it. He is gonna stew a bit. I will see him next week.
Anu, my sweet baby, lost his mom. She was just 50 years of age.  He has been acting like someone haunted by ghosts or some demonic spirit from the pit of hell. I miss my old Anu. God,please grant him and his family the fortitude to bear this untimely loss, so I can have my old Anu back.

Let me tell you a secret –
@lapetiteavocat on twitter

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