LSS CHRONICLE, In a Lighter Vein

By Joshua Omenga

Against all odds the FORWARD TEAM came to being, after a rigorous campaign laced with betrayal and rumour and blackmail – don’t ask on whose side, don’t get entangled in the quagmire, don’t let the smouldering fire burn you. For a reason we prefer not to inquire into, the LSS Blog did not to publish the result of the election. We present you here a rundown of the list of FORWARD TEAM Executives:  the man behind the FORWARD TEAM is Cornelius Gabriel (as President) and the woman behind is Motunrayo Ogunseitan (as Vice-President). Other players in this stage include: Oluwadara Oluwafemi (as General Secretary), Oluwatobi Olowokure (as Assistant General Secretary), Ayuwo Jones (as Public Relations Officer), Qasim (as Sports Secretary), Bolaji Benson (as Treasurer), Islamiyat Olamilekan (as Welfare Secretary), Jide Agbaje-Williams (as Social Secretary) and Gboyega Ahove (as the Financial Secretary)
January 19, enter the players to the stage. We, the spectators, turn to see how FORWARD this team has moved. Not meaning to insert a needless disclaimer, let it be known that we are interested only in the events as we saw them, not the politics behind them, nor of messengers who disobeyed their master’s biddings, nor of the master who refused saving counsels, nor of the fantastic plans that did not materialise; nay, we know only what we see… and here is the summary of what we saw…

The team started off with humanitarian programme, the special students forum, which was meant to shine light on the otherwise darkened path of special students. It was a grave gathering, the special students as immaculately dressed as those who had come to deliver the speeches. We were not opportune to witness the occasion, but from what we saw from the faces of the attendees when they emerged, we could tell that they benefited a lot. Which means kudos to the FORWARD team.
Then came the Exco Dinner – similar, we are told, to the government officials’ dinner before the inauguration of a new government. We have heard it hinted that this has no place in the Law Society constitution, but what kind of constitution would bother itself with trivialities such as dinner? Ought the law not to realise that its implementers are subject to human frailties like hunger?
The year one students were formally welcome into the faculty during their orientation held at the FLT. It was an occasion of big dreams in which only the rosy side of law was presented to the new inductees. We consider this to be kindness, for otherwise many of these green feathers might have considered applying for change of department form if they knew what they were up for; it is better they are gradually let into it by that timeless teacher, experience. It was an occasion for them, but also an occasion for the executives from the LSS and the different chambers and organisations in the faculty, to showcase not just their official services but also their personal ‘packages’. It is the best time to catch them, when they are yet to be courageous enough to ask for your GPA or how frequently you visit SHOP 10 and chicken and chips joint; when any level but 100 makes you a big brother keeping a watchful eye, and time alone will tell whether you will watch over this sister, or be the dog that devours the bone tied to its neck… It was an interesting event nonetheless, getting into the faculty of dreams, struggling between remembering mother’s soft-spoken advice to ‘remember whose daughter (or son) you are’ and getting lost in the wild flurry of universitihood…
Following this welcome was the ‘grand’ launch of the LSS tutorial series, purportedly for 100 – 400 level students – but we know who the tutorial is meant for: the year one students, because they take everything, and the year two students because prophets of doom have succeeded in convincing them that they could never answer law questions on their own, if by any miracle they understood what they read. As for year three students, resignation has overtaken ambition and they have come to a tacit understanding that no amount of tutorial will help the one who has lost faith in oneself. Year four students are another matter: beyond pride and confidence, they question the qualification of their teachers – ‘what have you to teach me, I who am higher in the ladder of merit?’ These too shall pass, the ignorance and the arrogance and the resignation…
Then there was the regular career fair which, like everything regular, has lost touch with reality. Students’ outturn was slightly as should be expected, and most student attendees were there not for the career fair but because of the free food; it is another matter whether they got what they wanted… The career fair turned out quite enlightening, especially for those who are frightened of the world of legal practice. The speakers talked about the many opportunities open to the law graduate: law in the context of aviation sector, law in the entertainment world and so on. The Career Fair did provide relief for those who have measured themselves against practising the law and found themselves wanting.
Somewhere towards the end of the first semester, the Lex Observer was quietly launched within the closed circles of the FORWARD TEAM and those privy to the goings-on in the LSS office, an office which by the way has metamorphosed into a relaxation centre for any conceivable kind of game. Lady Amy and her team did an impeccable editorial work, and the graphics designer could not have done better with page ordering and content sorting. But as it turned out, this observer observed little law – which is all the better for it – because it is, as many have remarked, not ‘lex’ observer but ‘Jones’ observer. Several pages dedicated to one man’s face and writing, words remark (not a well-substantiated assertion though). How this is a crime we do not know, for it is better to have one good face in many pages, than several ugly faces in every page. At least even complainants agree that the magazine did observe a lot, except that it did not observe the schism in the LSS administration…
If we agree that the Lex observer was Jones’ Observer, then by all means let us also agree that the ‘Law’s Got talent’ was ‘Cornel’s Got Talent’, and it is a talent which you do not encounter every day, the talent of persuasion. Highly publicised in colourful banners and T-shirts, this mini-talent hunt managed to present itself as the biggest thing coming to Unilag campus. In hostels, students talked about it with envy: law students are special in every way, and who knew what talents they would be showing? And as a price for their curiosity, the LSS president decided that they would pay five hundred naira for admittance into the programme, which they did, for considering the prestige of the law students, no one expected them to come cheap. But in truth, many did not pay for the law students’ talents but for the celebrities that would grace the occasion, listed as: Timaya, Phyno, Kcee AND MANY MORE… You could doubt such flamboyance if it is coming from the Faculty of Education, but not if it is coming from the Faculty of Law. At any rate, the main auditorium was filled up by expectant audience. The ‘talented’ ones showcased their talents. A particular dancing group really killed it, the Chima and Anita group (if that guy isn’t Michael Jackson resurrected in Africa!), and we thought they had the winning talent, but the judges had a different way of seeing things, and so the prize went to Ayanfe (of the sweet Christian voice). But this prize was not really what the majority of the audience were after: they were after the musicians who should by now be on the stage. And here the real talent of the LSS president came into play. The anchor, Lamu of the biting sarcasm, managed to keep the audience in suspense until the regular talent show was over, and when he could no longer hold them, called King Cornel to the stage to play his part. With straight face, he told the audience that the celebrities were on their way; the delay was due to traffic jam. So we were persuaded to wait, that fruitless waiting apparent from the onset. We could not help asking, ‘How do you feel when you lie?’ It would be a good feeling, we imagine, since it was a talent; and for playing it well, Cornel, not Ayanfe, should have been the winner of the Law’s Got Talent…
Law’s Got Talent did happen, whatever we think of it; the law barbecue did not.
In the area of sports, the FORWARD TEAM has been very forward and innovative. The Law 5-Aside was strongly competed, with – teams, and the trophy was lifted by a Team from the Law Class of 2016. The Law Marathon has its version 1 launched in the first semester. Pearle Nwaezeigwe of 400 level won the female category while ID Lawrence of 100 level won the male category, a wonderful way of starting off in the faculty. Kudos to those who won, and for those who did not win (we all cannot win), we wish you the best next time.
As a prelude to the Abiola Ojo Sports, the LSS organised the Abiola Ojo Sports Conference – supposedly a press conference, but having no press crew in attendance, only managed to be called a conference. We gathered that it was projected to rival Champion League’s press conferences, and if there had been pressmen in the conference, we should have considered the possibility of making a comparison. In this conference, the trophies were unveiled, and many a sportsperson looked upon what they will not get… As for the Abiola Ojo Sports itself, it was one better witnessed than heard, a very energetic but chaotic sports, with no winner and no vanquished – literally! Year 5 and year 4 watched, mirthfully, as their younger brothers, year 3 and year 2, battled – not competed! – in the field for the trophy, at the end of which none of them got it, nor any one else for that matter. Some say it was the fault of the referee; some say there has been an exchange of understanding; WE KNOW that it was an amusing sports, fought with crude force, without any pretence of civility, finis.
Enter the ladies for the Ladies Day – Law Ladies Bespoke – although even now, we have been struggling to fathom the meaning of ‘law ladies bespoke’, except that it is supposed to acronym LLB, which is no small justification for such grammatical balderdash. At any rate, the event is for ladies, and one who cares for one’s head does not readily criticise ladies’ events, whatever form they take. The Annex was finely decorated for the occasion, with projectors and all, promising a wonderful occasion – but unfortunately we, being men, could not get in. Which by the way makes us want to ask: are we still struggling for gender equality or has the balance tilted to the side of women? We do not complain…
…Because the next event was for all: the A B Kasunmu Annual Lecture; which was not entirely true, for although men were allowed to be in the audience, the event was dominated by women. The lecturer for the day, Justice Kekere-Ekun whose lecture focused on the restructuring of the Supreme Court for speedy dispensation of justice, and the Chairperson (observe, the massive efforts made to eliminate any mention of man!), were all women. And to top it all, the Justice-Lecturer insisted on humiliating our Anjola for ‘not being properly dressed’ – that is, not being dressed to the Justice’s taste. Well, we were told it is unruly to read the citation of a Justice in improper dressing; but such aspiration to demigodism can only be emphasised by a WOMAN! We have no grievance against the womenfolk, we do in fact concede that the chairperson did marvellously well, and the lecturer read excellently too, taking away the shrewish dodging of questions; we only ask that while perching, the eagle should also allow the hawk to perch… All in all, it was an insightful lecture on the operational modality of the Supreme Court, and we enjoyed the firsthand confession of the prolongation of justice.
Ah, you probably know all these, perhaps better than we do; but what you may not know so well is the inside story of the FORWARD TEAM, which by the way, we do not mean to tell you. If you are curious to know, just search the LSS blog archive. Aha, the blog is another story. Its redesigned interface and new columns are all beautiful, but its audience has dwindled, each with his own reason – lack of ‘serious’ write-up, defamatory articles, too much criticisms etc., etc. And finally, even the administrators of this blog could no longer stand its reputation and had to dissolve; new administrators were recruited, and new writers too. The blog is finally back to life and moving (backward or forward), like the administration that birthed it…
Although obviously not the work of the FORWARD TEAM, our attention has also been drawn to the new statue installed in front of the faculty, a huge lady of justice – or woman of justice – replete with African motif. We have not failed to notice the almost exaggerated contours which tout decency, reminiscent more of the emerging African woman with pretentious cultural flair, than of the African woman of antiquity. Modernity is the way anyway – who bothers about antiquity nowadays? Justice and culture, it is supposed to be; the beads succeeded in expressing the culture, but how much of justice does the raised ‘sword’ express? Which is not to say that it is not a beautiful artifice, if it had been installed in the Department of Visual Arts.
Exit FORWARD TEAM, enter TEAM RESURGENCE. But as always, Big Brother will keep watching…

Please Note: The opinions and viewpoints expressed by the writer are solely those of the writer and do not, in any form, serve as an authorised expression of the views of LEXIcon Group or any persn affiliated with LEXIcon group


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