Cos girl you’re amazing, just the way you are.
As I went about the task of picking one of the many very beautiful girls that constitute the jeunesse doree of the faculty of law, Bruno Mar’s lyrics kept playing in my head. Of course it is no question of searching for a needle in a haystack, but one of picking an outstanding beauty amongst a sea of others to see. Convinced that I couldn’t decide on one person based on pulchritudinous qualities alone, I decided to go for both the within and the without. And finally, I found a perfect fit in Onoja Rejoice of the law class of ‘19,
Rejoice is a very honest down-to-earth everyone’s sweetheart who seems to share a pulse with her bestie; Azeezat, I’d leave you to imagine the spring in my gait as I took her to lagoon front for the interview(only the interview o) that left me sore on the cheeks because of excessive laughter.
ME; Onoja Rejoice, could you please tell us about yourself?
Rejoice; My name is onoja Rejoice from a family of two, Benue state. I’m very friendly, I’m loyal and I love eating and playing games. I love associating with people, people that I know oh. I don’t like proud people at all, people that snub and people that feel like they are this they are that. I love food(I hope you guys are keeping count), BEANS to be precise(she said that thrice) and I love ijekuje. You can win my heart with ijekuje(Hey, don’t even think about it!). I prefer guys to girls. Oh yes, and I believe I’m tall. I am tall by faith so I’m ordering height to grow, so it has to grow. I planned on eating weasels so I’d grow tall(SMH) but my brothers discouraged me.
Me; Why are you studying law?
Rejoice; To fulfill all righteousness; because of money(Prof Oyewo must see this!). I won’t do anything illegal oh. I strive for righteous money. I can steal biro very well though.(Azeezat, her best friend who had been quiet before, brought out different pens from Rejoice’ bag.)
She steals my biro all the time and she’ll keep advancing like that until it gets to millions -Azeezat.
Ahahn na, Azeezat just put it in my bag to keep it warm(those two though) -Rejoice.
Me; What do you love the most about faculty of law?
Rejoice; Faculty of law opens my eyes to many things, it’s fun and straightforward(we are definitely on different grounds here).
Me; Who is your favourite lecturer?
Rejoice; Mr. Oyewo, I love the man. The man is bae, I love everything about him(Another man’s… nvm). Even if I want to sleep, he wipes the sleep away(Azeezat is quick to point out that the man is a professor. Am I the only one smelling multitudes of rats?
Me; If not law, what course would you’ve studied?
Rejoice; If not law, then theater arts, I love dancing. You can like dancing and know you can’t dance or you can like dancing and you know you can dance, I know I can dance EXCEPTIONALLY.(if only she’d show me her dance videos… #sighs)
Me; Who are your closest friends?
Rejoice; Azeezat is my best friend, like my best friend. I don’t like walking alone, Azeezat is brutal but I love walking with her. She’s a baby bitch! Azeezat is straight and she doesn’t care, she’s a very good bitch. We’re straight sha oh(she said that like ten times, are you thinking what I’m thinking?). I don’t know which male to pick; Canon, Dammy, Tedd, Princewill(they laugh), Maire and Folarin.
Me; What is your relationship status?
Rejoice; I’m single. Anyone that comes is deceiving himself.
Me; So, do you have a crush?
Rejoice; Yes(‘she has crushes’, Azeezat is quick to add.)
Me; What if it’s the crush, or should I say what if it’s one of the crushes?
Rejoice; Oh that’ll be a counter offer(see what Sagay has turned us to!)
Me; Your favourite colour?
Rejoice; Black(this dame is quite quaint)
Me; When was your most embarrassing moment?
Rejoice; My most embarrassing moment was when I was chased by a dog and my crush and his friends were passing by!
Me; Do you have any political ambition in the LSS?
Rejoice; None whatsoever.
Me; Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Rejoice; In ten years, I see myself married with two kids; preferably twins, and working in a good law firm. I want to be well-known. Perhaps the Attorney General of the Federation(Mama oh!!!) and money would be really flowing(Don’t bother with a dam).
Me; What is your favourite quote?
Rejoice; CHAI! Dearis God, in everything you do.
Me; So what do you want in your guy?
Rejoice; He has to be tall cos two of us can’t be short oh(God why! Maybe I should get high-heels, or start eating weasels), nice, lively, handsome, friendly, he has to be veery friendly and possess a good personality. He has to be humble. I really don’t like proud people. And he has to be God-fearing(I guess that brings a colossal reduction in candidates, if you know what I mean. #winks)
Me; Describe yourself in a sentence
Rejoice; I’m cool and very unpredictable.
Me; Do you think you’re pretty enough to be the beauty of the week? Rate yourself.
Rejoice; I can’t say if I’m beautiful oh. I thought it was a joke at first, Azeezat should be able to rate me na(uhm uhmuh). I think 10/10(And she doesn’t know if she’s beautiful, smh), no I think 5/10(Guilty conscience things), uhmuh it is 7/10(Really, what do you guys think?).
Me; So what would you rate me?
Rejoice; I’d give you five or four sha(Seriously, she was kidding. HABA!)
And that was the end of the interview. If you didn’t crack a smile all through, then your case en… It was fun all through at Lagoon front and I’m yet to eat my dinner all because my cheeks are sore from too much laughter, I think I should sue for damages, this hunger is killing. All thanks to Rejoice and Azeezat, the ‘fake twins’ of law class of ‘19 who share everything but a surname(Don’t ask me what else, I can’t air that but… I’m sure you understand).
See you again next week as we bring in yet another astonishing beauty for your ‘shopping list’.
Dosunmu Agboola Mubarak a chivalric perfect gentleman with an astounding sense of humour and an astronomic sense of honor from the class of ’19, is a highly passionate young man. Popularly called Ladking, he believes he is a king in his own right and a lord in his hobby; writing.