By Mayowa Folami
I do believe I’m absolutely completely not looking forward to Sunday. I mean, I would like to be alive and well but Sunday is Valentine’s Day and I don’t like Valentine’s Day ! Yes, I’m a single lady who will probably not get a fake rose (not like I don’t have a good attitude or anything because I’m a nice girl; sometimes, that is.) or even 50 naira robo robo sweet…so spare me the incessant reminders that Valentine’s Day is coming.
But wait a minute, why is Valentine’s Day even celebrated? It’s not like it’s even a public holiday. It’s just a means of extortion as it is capitalist propaganda. If anything at all, it makes me long for the colour Black. Valentine’s turns the people into politicians, couples feel the need to buy exorbitant gifts to please and appease their lovers and for those without lovers…well they go in search of one (Infact I could probably get one before Sunday if I wanted).
Thanks to Valentine’s Day, Diamonds are quite popular and where do all these diamonds come from? The vast majority of the world’s diamonds sold come from DeBeers, a company based in Luxembourg. Never heard of Luxembourg? Well neither have I, but it sounds weird so it is probably in the Middle East. That means we are probably giving money to the people who probably want to attack us! For all you know, Valentine’s Day is probably a conduit for terrorism. I don’t care the true location of Luxembourg or if they’re truly terrorists, but I like that I came up with my own conspiracy theory. One thing I can say though, is Valentine’s is good for the economy, as it allows businesses to thrive. In fact, you could set up a business during this period selling Val’s items or planning surprise parties.
In my single state, I’d like to point out there’s no big deal in Valentine’s, it’s just that time of the year when single people are reminded that being single really sucks. Personally, the past two years celebrating Valentine’s sucked for me so I’m officially ‘anti-val’ (that however doesn’t stop you from surprising me though *wink).
Let’s go back to two years ago when I ended up spending Valentine’s at the cinema with a friend who had a huge crush on me, I don’t even remember what movie we were watching…but I remember him saying during a kissing scene,
“Mayowa, don’t even think about kissing me”
I rolled my eyes(way to ask for some 😝), in your dreams, boy! It wasn’t that bad a day in the end, but it would have been nice to have spent it with someone special. The second (awful) Valentine’s was….well, let’s just say I can’t forget this one because I was in the salon minding my business, making my hair when I received a picture of a very naked butt from…well, a boy in my life at the time. I still don’t understand what was going through his mind to this day…I mean, other girls were getting chocolates, new phones, 100 red roses (buy me that and I’ll never speak to you EVER again!) but all I got was a picture of a butt (but it was a nice black butt though). Anyway, basically, those Valentine’s Days sucked, so this year, I’ll probably get the Season Two of How to Get Away with Murder and drown in the series till dawn while eating like a beast………………………………………
I met a really nice girl in Year 1 who commented on The Journal of a Multicolored Lawyer.
I got to the faculty on a lazy Monday when classes don’t start until 2:00pm and this girl walked up to me and said that she enjoyed reading my journal. That just about might be the only reason why the Val’s this year would be worth my while. Thank you for the love.
I learnt during the week that stories must have a moral lesson. I’m not sure if this post has one though… so I guess if you are looking for a moral lesson, go and read the Bible.
Mayowa Folami (mostly called Ziza), is a quirky fashion Blogger and entrepreneur. She is a Fashion contributor for Jumia fashion and Genevieve magazine. Her personal blog is http://www.yourclosetgirl.com , and you can follow her on instagram
@makeupbyziza and twitter @styledbyziza. Mayowa is the Principal Fashion editor of the Blog.