Once Upon A Law Student

    As I type this, I feel nothing but pain. I had already typed up my post, and I was so proud of it, and then guess what happened… It was saved on my phone and, as luck would have it, the stupid phone decided to just… spoil! Like, its not even funny… I am extremely upset! My own sweat and blood just…… gone! Ok its never that serious… but still! If that phone was a person, I wouldn’t hesitate to strangle it, then stab it, then smash it into the canal at the university back gate….. Oh my goodness…. is it just me, or does that sound really psychotic? I’m just joking ooo! Before something wee coman happen they’ll na use this as evidence against somebody in court… All these lawyers-to-be…Please o. Anyhow, speaking of the canal at the university back gate ;)….. How many of you guys passed there on Friday just to get out of school? Those of you that did, I hail you o…. You are the real hustlers of Unilag! All those babes that like to form posh and tush….. We saw all of you o… From jumping over the fence to crawling under the gates to passing inside the canal and looking like the Israelites when Moses parted the Red Sea, everybody turned into an athlete! Seriously guys, it was chaotic. Very very unnecessary rubbish. To now top it all, the sun was now doing ‘Who is the hottest’ competition with everyone!  

  That fateful Friday, after waking up by 5 a.m to hustle for water to bath with, and taking a quick shower, I got back to the room only to hear the porter announcing, with pride and over-inflated ego in his voice, that we should all get out of the hostels before 10 a.m! I mean, we all suspected that they would tell us to leave the hostels but not before 10 a.m.! In my mind I was just wondering at the speed of karma. Just the day before, I had saucily told my mother that I wasn’t going to come home and now, I was being left with no other option… Hmm… the gods of my mother, I doff my hat to you!

  Anyway, by 9.00, bags were packed and we were all ready to leave the hostels and what did we hear? That once you get to New Hall, your bag will be seized and you’ll be forced to join in the protest! Another person came and said, ‘New Hall ke! You won’t even get outside Moremi gate before they chase you back with sticks!’ Everyone started acting drama but trust me, as a calm Yoruba girl, I simply went back to my bed, dozed small, ate cereal, read my novel and finally, by 10 o’something, we were allowed to move.

There were at least 4 police vans at the Afe Babalola Hall roundabout! With policemen with faces that said, ‘I’m ready to blow off your head!’ The Police is your friend indeed! The trekking began o. It was serious. Under the hot sun, I lost all the fat I never even had. When we had passed New Hall, some people , who were coming from the gate, came and told us to just turn back… that the gate was blocked and there was no way through. We looked back and decided.. Forward ever! We went to sit at the chapel to wait out the lock-up. What a wait it was! About 2 hours into the wait, I got information from a friend that there was an opening around Environmental Sciences and I should hurry there. Guys, it was that day I knew I was a runner! I ran there, with my big bags, and, I met what seemed like thousands of people there, just as I was about to go down the stairs, these guys just came with big sticks, no big branches, and started screaming,

   ‘Get back! Get back! Ehn! Are you people mad?! We are here fighting for you and you want to run away like cowards? Are you mad?’ I almost replied, ‘Oga who send you message?’ but then, I took a long look at the branch and quickly decided that I didn’t want that thing landing anywhere on my body and I obediently went back. I went to the main gate to survey the situation and there was actually a part of the fence where some thugs were collecting money from girls to lift them over. One look at the way the girls were indiscreetly being fondled in the process and I quickly turned away.  
  After waiting for another hour, I had just decided to go back to the hostel and chill, in fact I was on my way, when I heard that they had opened the gate! Freedom at last! I finally got out of school only to discover another tragedy… there were absolutely no buses and the transport fare had been hiked! Yaba was now #300 (talk about extortion!) and Oyingbo buses were nowhere to be found. I wanted to start weeping but I decided to walk to Onike, still with my heavy bags… It was awful. The hand of one of the bags now cut and I was wondering, ‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’ I got there, no bus, so I had to take a bike :o.. My mother would have smacked me!

  To cut the epistle short, I am safely home and now that I look back on that Friday, I can laugh and display all my teeth in the process, but at the time it wasn’t funny at all! Now, the boredom is hitting me so hard, sometimes I just want to cry. But at least there’s food… That’s an upside 😀 Enjoy your compulsory holiday guys, we don’t know how long its going to last.

    P.S.  For the guys, I’ll advise you to goan learn vulcanising, bricklaying and mechanic-ing? And the ladies, Aunty Jenifa is still available abi? Goan meet her and learn ear-dressing, learn fashun dezaining from Aunty Shalom and make-up from Dami Bote…. Just to make extra cash during this indefinite suspension… Ciao

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