I and Kim walked through the beautiful garden of the faculty of Environmental Science. I could feel the solitude of the night and the gentle breeze. My eyes drifted from the stone I just stumbled on and it rested on Kim’s hand that was already across my hips. I could feel the intimacy between us. I love the feeling, yet I feared the ‘unknown’. Kim was pointing to the black figure in the garden. When I looked closely, I discovered they were students, the guy was telling the girl something and his mouth was so close to her ear. The girl was simply saying ‘hmm, hmm’ like someone groaning. When I asked Kim what was going on, he simply replied me by smiling. That was the time I remembered that my mum had told me that boys can make you feel a painful pleasure easily by starting with some moves. Maybe that was what was happening to her, I thought

‘Hey, Tora, watch out now’’. Kim shouted. I was lost in thought. I had not noticed that we were at the gate. It was a black high tempered man that wanted to drive his ‘maruwa’ across my right foot. I was sure he has taken ‘igbo’. I don’t know why people will see that kind of man and still enter his; maruwa’. Do they not know that life is so precious?  I was the one who chose the ‘maruwa’ to board. As we approached Kim’s rented house, something in me jumps up. I re-assured myself that nothing is going to happen. I trusted Kim so much.  In fact, he is my mentor. Yes, he is still my mentor. It was just a room with a small bed. Kim assured me to feel peacefully at home. He brought out a small stove and warmed the food. The smell from the fumes was unbearable. I wonder how he manages with that kind of life. He said to me, ‘the landlady said we must not cook inside the room nor use electric stove’. I simply looked back at him and said within myself, ‘but you are cooking inside, is that not a sin? Now, what is holiness? I really need to learn and grow more in the knowledge of Jesus Christ, really need to…’’
‘Tora, eat now, what are you thinking about? I didn’t notice that Kim was done with serving the food. But I was confused; Kim had served the food in one plate. I asked, ‘won’t you eat?’ He answered, ‘of course I will’. I was confused. Kim brought out a spoon from the tray on the wooden table and dipped it inside the plate. He scooped some grains of rice and raised it to my mouth. I was shy suddenly. ‘We have not blessed the food’ in the name of Jesus I said. Kim apologised and did just that. Kim fed me, and I felt very special. I remembered he had taken me out before, more than once. I must be very special to him. Immediately we were done, PHCN suddenly took the light.  It was then that I knew the importance of light.
I could remember mum had warned me to be very careful when I’m alone with a man of the opposite sex. It was late already; I was beginning to fear the unknown again. I simply lied on his bed and faced the wall. I was enjoying the sleep when I realised a hand rubbing my back. It was Kim. I stood up and told him I wanted to urinate. He showed me the way. While I was returning, I prayed to God. I was beginning to understand some things about God then that I never knew before; some things beyond law and condemnation. I spoke to God and told him what Kim was doing. I was rest assured he will do something. While I was sleeping again, I could feel his hand running across my leg. He started with my feet and was gently caressing it upward. I could feel the pleasure as he touched my thigh. I was not ready for this. I removed his hand.
Then, he blew some air inside my ear; I do not know whether it’s part of the technique of getting a girl sexually active, but it wasn’t working for me. Then, I remembered that guy and that lady at ‘the faculty of Environmental Science garden’. Kim was already kissing my cheek. He was heading towards my lips. I suddenly shifted my face. I had told myself that I will only kiss my future husband. I could feel the tip of his finger on my chest. My breast was expecting a sweet touch but my heart was saying ‘no’. I could feel the sudden ‘movement of my sexual part, it was ‘breathing fearfully’ up and down. I closed my thighs so tight so that I will be on a safer ground. Mum had warned me against sex before marriage since I was young and I strongly believed in it. My cloth was still on me. That alone is safe. She had used the bible to support it. But I had trusted Kim; I was thinking he was doing all this because he loved me. Maybe what he was doing was somewhere inside the bible. I hugged him and rubbed his back and he rubbed mine and was ready fondle with my ass, his hand was still on ,my curvy hips when I pushed him away.
‘ONE DAY YOU WILL BREAK MY HEART, I KNOW’’ that was what I said.
By Ikeoluwa Adetona


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