…the most hilarious ads ever…
By Law Students
So we’re Law Students! And by implication, our brains are home to some of the most creative, powerful and brilliant minds to be found anywhere on the planet! Today, we’re putting all those minds together to have a little bit of fun…just a little bit. Before the tension of resumption and the spirit of ‘Law Exams’ descend fully on all of us.
Your imagination ever just run wild and you wish for the craziest of things? Well you’re not alone…and you’re not crazy. Or at least you’re not crazy alone! Today, we’re taking all of those wishes, and placing them as ads, in the most hilarious ways possible.
How? Simple!
Let us know the craziest, almost impossible things you wish for, and tell us like we can actually give them to you.
Here are two examples from our very own Blog Admin, and a Hundred Level Student:
Name: William-Adusa Hosanna (but you can call me Shekau)
Gender: Male
Level: 400
…Is looking for a good CGPA, preferably 5.0 inches tall, and the type that is not ‘hard to get’. Must also not be the unsteady kind that fluctuates per semester, and must be of the species that doesn’t leave even if you do not study. Willing to pay 500 naira to anyone that can help procure one for me. Thank you.
Name: Hundred Level Student.
Gender: Female
Level : 100
…In need of a skilled time traveler. Someone to teleport me into 200l so I can finally start wearing white and black. Time traveler must have at least three years work experience… So he or she doesn’t mistakenly goan take me back to before I wrote jamb. You will be handsomely rewarded. Thank you
So there you have it! Easy right? The kinds of things that easily run across your own mind? You should totally do this then.
Guide:
* State your name (that is already provided for before place your comment)
* Your gender
* And your current level
* Place your ad
* Send your comment
It’s that simple. Oh! And do you have another fantastic idea? By all means place another ad! The further your imagination goes, the better…
So hit the comments box, and let’s roll!
Note: we strongly recommend you tick the ‘notify me of new comments’ box, so as to remain up to date on the brilliant ads pouring in by other students…and check back regularly
We goooooooo!!!!
The Law Students' Blog. 
They call me double07 (007). I am a 400 level law student. Because I’m James Bond, I won’t read, and I will pass. You think I’m lying? Ask Bidemi in year 5.
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Precious
Hey… I can get you makama water that remains clean till the next morning without iron😂 plus PWC
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I’m Tora
Please can I get somebody to slap Verlos(Hossana) for me?
20k…oya…
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You know I’m the blog admin right?
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Ava 100l
Wanted: Miracle and Manager
Mission: a small miracle that will see Manchester United qualify for Champions League next season and a greater miracle that will help them win bpl. A manager that will change LVG and will be as great as Sir Alex.
Reward: It is in heaven
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Ava 100l
Wanted: Miracle and Manager
Mission: a small miracle that will see Manchester United qualify for Champions League next season and a greater miracle that will help them win epl. A manager that will change LVG and will be as great as Sir Alex.
Reward: It is in heaven
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Female negotiator urgently needed,
preferably Edo and dark in complexion so that she can blend with the night. Needed to negotiate with the witches chasing my GP from the village. me I don’t have strength to run this semester as I have been battling with this unbearable heat, rotten economy, Rahman Bello and Land law.
Reward: you get to network with your fellow witches in the east and expand your territory.
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That’s a good offer, I think they’ll consider
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Please I’m looking for a yoruba demon…must know how to cheat like jayz and can have me twisted up like Jay got Beyonce… Lemme release an album too abeg dollar is high🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
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Look no further my dear
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And that’s how it’s done
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Sigh..
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The hunger games Ltd is hiring
You must be easy to kill
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Smart
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I live with hosanna. I’m his ex that happens to be his neighbour. I’m who you need.
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100l f
Pls eehn,I need someone to make the month of may go into extinction, then when I finish reading,I will call the person to put it back. Reward:just ask and it shall be given unto u
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Burst my brain 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.
Well, I’m Meedey
200level
Im looking for my inspiration to sign this garden form as I seem not to understand English again since I saw the Indemnity form… If you find inspiration, you shall be fully rewarded
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brand new iPhone 6. price starts from #2o,ooo. completely negotiable. it may have some scratches from when the former owner was dragging it with me. rest assured you won’t go to jail
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You Sir, are a genius!
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Please help!!!!!! I’m looking for my course adviser. She is fair in complexion, speaks ‘phonee’, keeps a healthy hair, teaches like a rat, also veery pretty. Please its very urgent. She was last seen on her way to Abuja
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Urgently needed by a year 2 student
UNDERTAKER to dig up my gone to soon cgpa
Must be able to dig through the murky land of IRAC and the trapped depth of constitutional law…please note that it might be a one way digging that is point of no return should you decide to embark so please apply at your own risk.
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wanted: an Anna to my Christian, a Katherine to my Stefan,, a Wenger to my Arsenal. someone I cannur do witawt, someone that can do without me. strings attached. contact PrO and who knows; we might get our own book series
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Anna to Christian sounds enticing 😍😍😍
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Precious
I want a bf that would love but i won’t love him. That never takes a shit, gorgeous in every fibre of his being with enormous brain for the both of us and he calls my name makes it sound like honey mixed with the sound of tropical rain. He body is sculpted by gods making a sculpture fod an exhibition for fellow gods to be jealous of a mortal but he’s ab empty cursed soul, a black hole worthy of love or light but brings me happiness😁 find him. Bring him. And smile at the broadsheet *FYI*handle with care
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Make him yourself
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Precious
I want a bf that would love but i won’t love him. That never takes a shit,(poop) gorgeous in every fibre of his being with enormous brain for the both of us and he calls my name makes it sound like honey mixed with the sound of tropical rain. He body is sculpted by gods making a sculpture fod an exhibition for fellow gods to be jealous of a mortal but he’s ab empty cursed soul, a black hole worthy of love or light but brings me happiness😁 find him. Bring him. And smile at the broadsheet *FYI*handle with care
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wanted: gehfren that makerg rich and addeth no sorrow. she may not cook well but make she try fine get money I don’t mind I can cook indomie. don’t worry PRO knows me
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300 l3vel
Wanted: The humble version of Tobolos and the single version of Jones rolled into one
Aim: To kill all the law girls
Reward: A microphone
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Dope!
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Looks like what Verlositi would write.
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wanted: gehfren that maketh rich and addeth no sorrow. she may not cook well but make she try fine get money I don’t mind I can cook indomie. don’t worry PRO knows me
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PRO… PRO… PRO!?! Please which PRO? Let the person know me too.
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Blog Admin. Level: Jambite.
Looking for law students who will check the blog everyday. Not only when there’s Ad-Infinitum going on
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My name is Carl, I am 22 years old, tall, 300 level student handsome small, laiskin, I am looking for that lady that is ready to settle and not mingle because my parents say I should marry before I clock 25 years. The lady must be beautiful, intelligent, rich (bcos I am broke and should be ready to spend on me) Igbo, tall, laiskin, can cook every day for me and wash my white shirts until we graduate and must good be in the bedroom… My hobbies are playing soccer and watching it, eating, sleeping, my favorite actress is Mia Khalifa. if u feel u meet this criteria don’t hesitate to call this number 09058273370 ASAP. Fenks.
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Bloody pornstar. Lol
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Well..Am sure you all will know the person that’s gona ask for this;I need 150 ladies of specific dimensions(5ft tal,36inches@ lower casing,10inches upright@uppercasing.Each having their own duty.But 50 of them doing a specific thing.That specific thing we all know.,Pastors like,Imams like as well.We all like.But na me love am pass..
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I know some of you may not read this. you may not even see this at all. but if you do I just wanted to tell you all that I sell cocoyam
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to pray? I like yoh oh. ya very religious
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to pray? I like you oh. ya very religious
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Hey, I’m interested, honestly, bet I really don’t get. Plis esplen
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I know some of you may not read this. you may not even see this at all. but if you do I just wanted to tell you all that I sell cocoyam
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I think they will
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Oluwamayowa.
Male
300L
I’m.in need.of just three.things. First I need someone whp can legoslate against written examinations in law just make it oral. Ask me and I’ll tell you. Second, I need an apartment well furnished with 10 GP tanks of petrol, a window length tv, air conditioning system, and African food prepared by a professional. Absolutely free. Finally, I need a job that pays a 300L undergraduate like 1 million naira for just coming to work. This job should come with a company plane, and a host of beautiful women. Thank you.
If you can do me this, your reward is in heaven.
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Company plane?! There’s that kind of benefit in the corporate world?
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Lol. You have no idea
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I have a very business that downsizing, I need someone to help me think on how to build the company up.The fees, you’d think about it.too
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El-Nelz
100l
I need a surgeon to make my face like dat ov Jones, my voice like that of Tobolos,and my brain like that of Timi Oyewo….
Reason:I want to win the mm70 and I want faculty of law girls to always gimme attention like a celeb
reward:I will buy you hot doughnut when I win MM70
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I’ll kill such a surgeon even if you find one. How can you be so stingy
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sombori stole an iPhone six. there are scratches on it from when we struggled if found please contact the lss office or pro. tenkz
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Aunty sidi(100l)
I need a Yoruba demon in the faculty,6”2 and above preferably no feelings to be caught, just know how to make quality party Jollof rice, fry decent dodo, and be an awesome kisser.Liking The weeknd or Bryson Tiller is added advantage.
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e ma, I si dat you nid my fren lukman in your lyf, shu I kontakt im?
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Can he fry dodo
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Where do I apply?
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Dozed, female, 300. Need a drug to sleep and wen I wake up I’ll be a barrister knowing all the cases facts n principles. Pls kindly notify me if you have it….all my savings now
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You might as well wake up when you’re the richest person in the world. Why stop at barrister level?
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Dozed, female, 300. Need a drug to sleep and wen I wake up I’ll be a barrister knowing all the cases facts n principles. Pls kindly notify me if you have it….My God shall surprise u
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wanted: someone to see Civil War with. preferably female and can geek about Captain America. PS.- must be on #TeamCAP. should be hot asf too pishure will be taken.
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i am not greedy people…I just want a rich man to marry me…I want my own Mr mike…….but the younger one…with the Christian grey vibe going on…just have money.
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I’m a female, in 300l..looking for a mature man (preferably professor) must be tall , dark, and handsome.. my major interest is in Professor Oyewo..I would do anything to have him. Thanks in anticipation.
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jagaban of jogomi 300level,pls if you can get me a self contain in heaven guaranteed ,no matter my sins on earth I will .appreciate
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You look like you’re setting yourself up for a mansion in hell
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Female. 100l.
I need someone to show me how to get to heaven tonight without dying.
Reward: It’s in heaven.
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Name: Oyewunmi Fikayo
Gender: Male
Level: 400
…Is looking for a wizard preferably of African descent, who will revive chelsea’s dead season and take them to first place. Must know how to fly and favourite colour must be blue. Must possess the hability to control Habramovich and prevent him from sacking Conté. Must showcase his skills by performing the following tasks:
1)removing Drogba’s curse on the no.11 shirt
2)removing curse placed on Hazard by his villagers
3)prevent the sale of John Terry
Reward is at the top of the table…the dining table
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I’m in need of Hosana’s speaking skill and wit (I’m nuh even sure if I spelt the name right) plix, if yunno wia I can find it, apart from INSIDE Hosi himself, epp a sister biko. Oh, I’m in 200level and I’m not hard to find.
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It’s Hosanna. And I don’t think you can find it anywhere outside of me. All the best to you though
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Hosanna, you’re a proud mosquito!
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I’m a female..in 300l. looking for a mature man as a sugar daddy (preferably a professor) in the faculty. He must be tall dark and handsome. My major interest is in Professor Oyewo or Prof Fogam. I would do anything to have them. Thanks in anticipation…
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I need babe. Serious one. The type ready for a serious relationship. Situation is very critical and I am single to stupor *in falz voice* However o, I don’t want any anyhow purzin o. I want someone like that Famakinde Taiwo in year two, that girl handling the students’ voices segment of the blog. Mehn, that babe hot, with that her killling smile!! Plix, blog admin, help me connect us. Na 400 I dey.
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El-Nelz
100lvl
searching for a lady to feed and take care of my ten year old lion,while I travel for 6 months
warning:the lion has been heartbroken xo many times ,so he hates ladies
reward :a tall ,slim,rich God fearing,romantic,intelligent,undaunted characterise(in your next life)
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*character-wise
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My wants/wishes are quite much…ermm..yeah..
DZ cute girl needs a time machine; there are some scenes in my life she’d like to revisit…
She wants sm1 to jinx her ENG151 lecturer into telling her what particular poem to study for exams…25 mundane poems aren’t my forte!!!!
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look no futher than your class, go and meet Prof Maduagwu tomorrow, don’t go with your jotter,coz he has already drafted it as we speak….thank me later,just making a preety lady’s wishes cum through
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I think I might be on search of someone who can stand my cynicism, sarcasm, and bluntness, who is interesting enough to keep me awake and away from my phone, who is not overly attractive, who uses as little make up as possible, has no h factors, speaks at least Nigerian standard English, and can type messages without using short form.
REWARD: You get to talk to me
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Male
100lvl
In need of master robber who knows how to kidnap covenant-like school fees from unsuspecting parents. Much appreciated.
Reward:seek thou heavenly things and not bread only.
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Look no further
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300 Level
Male
Is looking for the CGPA Holy Grail.
Description: it looks and tastes better than fried plantain. Once eaten, gives the consumer the ability to never score anything below an A in all courses.
Effects
Revives, Raises and Repletes my CGPA.
Reward
A 2 hours full body massage (babes only) and the first N1 million that gets into my account (seriously, it’s almost here).
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Tochukwu
300 level
Male
Looking for that magic pen and magic boot that will turn me into the Martin Samuel (my sportswriter idol) of my time and help me pass my law exams and the boot that score the winning goal in lss cup final against yr 4 after what happen last year 😈, get me into unilag school team, get me to play for crystal palace, arsenal and then Enyimba, then retire and become the best coach ever (like in my football manager)… If u know where to find these items buzz me
Reward: £300,000 per week when I have accomplished all I wish for.
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Need a boyfriend who possess the following quality,,Laylo’s handsomeness,Timi’s strictness,Bafewa’s height,Tobi’s confidence,Jones smile (sorry ore),Langa’s friendly nature, nd Haliart cute attitude..am not so greedy right??
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Only you Laylo, Tobi, Jones, Langa and Timi, omo you greedy die!!!!
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Name: Deity
Level: The Heavenlies
I need someone who can hack into Dr. Oni’s computer and get me the marking scheme for Land Law and Equity. Dasall.
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Some deity you are! Needing hackers
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