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I, NOCTURNAL, NOCEUR

15 Mar

I understand in life there’s a cycle for everything, and furthermore, there is the average standard to these cycles, of which you mustn’t fall below or above.
You see, above all cycles is the lifecycle, where a person cannot die too young or else he was killed by superficial forces ,or live too old as then, he would be tagged as the superficial force behind the death of his younger generations.
Embedded in this major cycle, is the eating cycle, where you can’t eat a little too little else you’re tagged sick or a bit too much and you’re called glutton.
Then there’s also the growth cycle where you can’t be too short for your age else you’re asked to overdose on pulse (beans), or too tall and then you’re condemned to the basketball court.You can’t be too thin else you have sickle cell or you’re too fat and you’re almost never getting a boyfriend i.e you’re obese😂😂.

Most important of these cycles, to me is the “sleep cycle”. What standard time, of the 24hours in one day, is the human body and mind paralysed to sleep and it’s activities numbed to slumber?. Biology tells me to every human, 8 hours of an ephemeral bedrest is allocated. Logically calculated this would be from 11pm-6am. When a person falls short of the yardstick of this highly exhorted cycle , he is named after Jonah i.e sleepyhead, Lazy, or ornery, all qualifying “Abnormal”.

On a first note, I’m lucid at night and a great slug by daybreak. Before you tag me “lazy, ornery,or sluggard ” allow me justify myself by giving a breakdown of my night plan, after the lights are out and every other normal mortal assumes their hibernation.

10:55pm…
My average African mum walks into my room, reminds me of how my usual excuse of sleeping late would not be tantamount an excuse to wake up late.She shuts the door mumbling something about how my mates are all asleep, in a bid to be up and doing the next day. I sulk under my sheets, faking my own sleep (although at this moment I wish the sleep was legitimate). I struggle , trying to keep my eyelids shut and actually try to really sleep. About two scenes from the day, come into limelight behind my eyelids and this completely flopps every plan I have to sleep at the normal time nature recquires.

11pm…
Everywhere’s dead silent now. The noise of the silence awakens my eyes back to the reality of the phone I tucked into my pillowcase at the sound of my mum’s footsteps five minutes ago.I begin to reply all my messages, including the unnecessary broadcasts with a “thank you“😩.All in a bid to discover abnormals as myself. I frolic up and around Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat as I unleash my stalking personae. At this point I remember how PHCN will not bring light in the light of the day and how I must save my subscription. I chat a little more and then I put my phone on flight mode.
3am…
At this point I tell myself its time to sleep and once again try the “eyelids shut” technique of sleeping. Sudden clatters from the kitchen indicate that the fellow nocturnals of the other specie are wide awake.I remember my mum once likened me to a rodent , and I remember the half opened cookies in the fridge. I am reminded of the sordid state of hunger my stomach is in and sneak out and back in, making a grab for the cookie. I carefully munch it in and tuck the wrap under my bed to displace any proof of my theft. I am thirsty from the stolen cookie, and once again sneak into the kitchen to get a drink from the dispenser, this time almost squashing a mouse with my foot. I hurry back after my drink and I’m determined to sleep now. Except, as i lay to sleep, I remember that I have a crush on Lanre and another round of “nightdreaming” begins. I think about what I could do to catch his attention. I remember stalking his page and seeing all those “instagram girls ” comment flirtatiously on his “hot hot” posts. Then I convince myself or instead, confuse myself, that he’d rather be into a girl like me. I dream of our prospective awkward moments of love, what marriage would feel like looking into his eyes as he looks fit in his tuxedo and I look my prettiest in my silvery white wedding dress. I then think of the famous ‘wedding night” and I’m rushed back to the reality that I’ll always be to him, if he ever noticed, the girl across his library desk. Then I console myself with the thought that one day I’d drive a Benz into the faculty in a hot black dress,dark shades , flerky hair and make up, and then, he’ll be only an option to me ☺.

5am…
The cock Iya Pelumi gave my mum as a christmas present lets out its alarming first crow and then I begin to panic. Thinking , I had just one hour left to sleep, after I once again jeopardised my bedtime. I promise myself I’d sleep only for an hour with the intent of cheating nature. Soon I am unaware of my environment and deep asleep.

10am…
I toss and turn in my sheets, wondering why the room felt unusually hot. I reluctantly open my eyes to check if the fan was still rolling and I am almost blinded by the sharp ray of the Sun from my window. I hurriedly check my phone, my mind blown off and my mouth wide agape. I rush to view my alarm icon and I soon see my notification “Missed alarm :5:30am; 5:35am; 5:40am; 5:45am, 5:50am; 5:55am; 6:00am“.
Noooo, I have a test for 10:30am“, I scream running into the bathroom with the intention of doing the infamous “rubb and shine “.

Ps : I dosed all through my test and subsequent lectures.
Ps: It’s a repeated cycle😓.

Written By Folashade Edun

Published By Great Opara

 

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