Pause! If you are a Law student, at this moment two things are certain:
1) You are wondering if the Faculty of Law is truly on strike along with the University of Lagos.
2) You are consumed with one of three things… 65percent attendance, sarahah.com or Law Dinner, if not all three.
Which brings us to this article that you will spend the next fifteen minutes to carefully read, and then proceed to let your feelings known in the comments section.
What you need to know beforehand is, this list was extensively and thoroughly researched (cos you’re paying us salary yeah?), and it is almost absolutely free of all possible bias. Almost!
This yearly list is one of the few things more anxiously anticipated than the next Game of Thrones episode in the Faculty of Law and on this wet, calm, striking day in August 2017, we present those we see fit as the Faculty’s best.
If you are of the opinion that your name should be on this list…sorry about that. Kindly send us an email of complaint stating your objections and reasons you should be included to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Everyone else please relax, grab a bottle of that 100naira scam sold by Coca–cola, read, enjoy, comment and share.
Without further fuss, from the Year one class and going up, we present…
SOGO GBARADA – Class of ’21
Not sure if the right word here is ‘nerd’ or ‘weird’. Sogo is a different kind of nerd…too weird, even for nerd standards. This should tell the single ladies and other cougars in the house something. If his height manages NOT to intimidate you, and his equally weird music taste is something you can live with (plus, you manage to bypass competition that rhymes with Joke ), you’re good to go.
OLUWASEUN FADIPE – Class of ’20
Seun is (un)arguably one of his class’ finest. Seun is 6ft tall, quite buff and a beginning but proud member of le Beard Gang! This dark young man has a very tight clique of friends, and he just so happens to be permanently single (along with the entire clique apparently). So be careful ladies, you know what they say about guys in cliques yeah?
ADEBAMIDE AYENI – Class of ’20
Now, this beau has truly got it all. From the looks, to the walk and the talk. The boy is not just fine, he actually has sense too. This is a rarity for most of them, all subs intended. He’s a DJ and actually has legit gigs to his name.
Ps – he rocks a mean flower crown Snapchat filter. And yes, he’s single. So jump in if you dare.
ROBERT ODU – Class of ’19
The Sport god. Hot, super sexy, athletic Robert with the body you just want to…And that smile. It can safely be said that Robert is currently the best sportsman in the Faculty. This dude equally blazed a path into the hearts of the ladies.
Caveat: dating status? Unknown.
Ps – Robert if you ever stumble on this, do all the females a favor, never wear long sleeves to class.
POJU – Class of ’19
The Gentle Giant. Last name unknown. Poju is always around to help. Tall, dark, cute, deep voiced, buff…Poju is ALWAYS around to help. A very reliable guy and good graphic designer that keeps to his close circle of friends and minds his business. Y’all really need to see this boy in jeans, thank god he never wears black and white.
LENNY – Class of ’19
Lenny is a cute, lightskinned, nerd glasses, white chocolate looking member of the class of ’19. Lenny, a defender for his class football team, has an attitude and swagger to still make good boys look super boring. He is famous for his attitude on the pitch. #RedCardGang.
POLOORE JAYEOBA – Class of ’18
Now, this is the one your parents warned you about. The one with the disarming smile and accent from heaven and dayuuum! there’s just something about those eyes.
Caveat: this brother allegedly has a long rap sheet, and he’s on a streak. Just like James Bond, he only wants the flesh, nothing more. This boxed up omo pastor can smooth talk you into eating the forbidden fruit, if care is not taken. But then, some of you want that particular fruit so…
IFEOLUWA KOLAWOLE – Class of ’18
This guy is so under the radar that not many people notice his beauty. He sings and lord! does he sing well. He’s fine, his skin glows…but before we get further distracted, the main point is that he’s single. We rest our case.
MICHAEL FALEYE – Class of ’18
Mr Senate President. Black boy of the Federal Republic of the LSS. Michael is finer than a summer day and has a smile that opens up the taps. Rumor has it that what this guy lacks in height, he fully makes up for in…other areas. His ‘ashewo mode’ seems to have been activated this year as he’s allegedly putting girls in body bags left, right and center. Mikollo as he is fondly called is a member of his class football team. Wait member? Lol yes, member.
UTHMAN ABDULLAH – Class of ’18
Uthman is no doubt a handsomely moulded work of art. Looks? Height? He’s got it all. Although his afro is definitely what stands him out the most. That thing costs a fortune to maintain. Apparently, he possesses a dark side too as we hear he has a roster of his ‘dealings’. He does not need your love, just you. He is also definitely on the market, so why not just trap him at the Law Dinner with that extra cleavage revealing outfit?
VICTORY ABANG – Class of ’17
What is a bachelor’s list without this fine male specimen? Tall, light skinned, great hairline, no potbelly…the fulfilment of every girl’s dreams. Abang is a former HOC of the Justice Kayode-Eso Chambers. Ladies please be careful around him, lest a particular female feel threatened. You have been warned.
YOMI OGUNDARE – Class of ’17
Or Rolake as he is fondly called, whichever you prefer. Sweet, sensitive, kind, easy on the eyes…Yomi! Don’t let your eyes linger too long though, unless you believe that having a girlfriend is no barrier to true love. In which case you have our best wishes.
ILEMOBADE OLATERU-OLAGBEGI – Class of ’17
The name speaks for itself, need we say more? President of the Maritime Forum, University of Lagos, focused, hardworking and with two very cute dimples. We are certain you are not the only one with a crush on this guy, we love him too. He just might be perfect.
RAHMAN APALARA – Class of ’17
Rahman of the Mooting Society. Rahman with the nerdy glasses. Rahman with the looks and intellect of Sheldon Cooper. This bright, confident, soft spoken young man is the future. So ladies, now is the time to start planning your future kids. Wouldn’t you want a Rahmy junior running about in a couple of years?
BAFEWA SANNI – Class of ’17
Bafewa Sanni has probably made every eligible bachelors list since he entered the Faculty. Bafewa Sanni will probably make every eligible bachelors list until he retires. Tall, fine, tall, dark skinned, tall, rich, tall, model, tall! Bafewa is always served hot and ready to go. So ladies, if you think you’ve got the appetite for this spicy dish, Please shoot your shot. Time is not on your side.
So there you have it folks, our ASUU strike edition of the Eligible Bachelors list. And ladies, the very dope part is, we have it on good authority that majority of these fine ass gentlemen will be at the Law Dinner tomorrow. Therefore, the only relevant question now is… where will you be?
Published by Great Opara,
For the Lss Blog.