THE FIFTEEN MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS IN THE FACULTY – ASUU STRIKE EDITION

Pause! If you are a Law student, at this moment two things are certain:

1) You are wondering if the Faculty of Law is truly on strike along with the University of Lagos.

2) You are consumed with one of three things…  65percent attendance, sarahah.com or Law Dinner, if not all three.

Which brings us to this article that you will spend the next fifteen minutes to carefully read, and then proceed to let your feelings known in the comments section.

What you need to know beforehand is, this list was extensively and thoroughly researched (cos you’re paying us salary yeah?), and it is almost absolutely free of all possible bias. Almost!

This yearly list is one of the few things more anxiously anticipated than the next Game of  Thrones episode in the Faculty of Law and on this wet, calm, striking day in August 2017, we present those we see fit as the Faculty’s best.

If you are of the opinion that your name should be on this list…sorry about that. Kindly send us an email of complaint stating your objections and reasons you should be included to lssnerd@gmail.com. 

Everyone else please relax, grab a bottle of that 100naira scam sold by Coca–cola, read, enjoy, comment and share.

Without further fuss, from the Year one class and going up, we present…
SOGO GBARADA – Class of ’21

 

Not sure if the right word here  is ‘nerd’  or  ‘weird’.   Sogo  is a different kind of nerd…too weird, even for nerd standards. This should tell the single ladies and other cougars in the house something. If his height manages NOT to intimidate you, and his equally weird music taste is something you can live with (plus, you manage to bypass competition that rhymes with  Joke ), you’re good to go.

OLUWASEUN FADIPE – Class of ’20

Seun is (un)arguably one of his class’ finest. Seun is 6ft tall, quite buff and a beginning but proud member of le Beard Gang! This dark young man has a very tight clique of friends, and he just so happens to be permanently single (along with the entire clique apparently). So be careful ladies, you know what they say about guys in cliques yeah?

ADEBAMIDE AYENI – Class of ’20

Now, this beau has truly got it all. From the looks, to the walk and the talk. The boy is not just fine, he actually has sense too. This is a rarity for most of them, all subs intended. He’s a DJ and actually has legit gigs to his name.

Ps – he rocks a mean flower crown Snapchat filter. And yes, he’s single. So jump in if you dare.
ROBERT ODU – Class of ’19

The Sport god. Hot, super sexy, athletic Robert with the body you just want to…And that smile. It can safely be said that Robert is currently the best sportsman in the Faculty. This dude equally blazed a path into the hearts of the ladies.

Caveat: dating status? Unknown.

Ps – Robert if you ever stumble on this, do all the females a favor, never wear long sleeves to class.
POJU – Class of ’19

The Gentle Giant. Last name unknown. Poju is always around to help. Tall, dark, cute, deep voiced, buff…Poju is ALWAYS around to help. A very reliable guy and good graphic designer that keeps to his close circle of friends and minds his business. Y’all really need to see this boy in jeans, thank god he never wears black and white.
LENNY – Class of ’19

Lenny is a cute, lightskinned, nerd glasses, white chocolate looking member of the class of ’19. Lenny, a defender for his class football team, has an attitude and swagger to still make good boys look super boring. He is famous for his attitude on the pitch. #RedCardGang.

POLOORE JAYEOBA – Class of ’18

Now, this is the one your parents warned you about. The one with the disarming smile and accent from heaven and dayuuum! there’s just something about those eyes.

Caveat: this brother allegedly has a long rap sheet, and he’s on a streak. Just like James Bond,  he only wants the flesh, nothing more. This boxed up omo pastor can smooth talk you into eating the forbidden fruit, if care is not taken. But then, some of you want that particular fruit so…
IFEOLUWA KOLAWOLE – Class of ’18

This guy is so under the radar that not many people notice his beauty. He sings and lord! does he sing well. He’s fine, his skin glows…but before we get further distracted, the main point is that he’s single. We rest our case.
MICHAEL FALEYE – Class of ’18

Mr Senate President. Black boy of the Federal Republic of the LSS. Michael is finer than a summer day and has a smile that opens up the taps. Rumor has it that what this guy lacks in height, he fully makes up for in…other areas. His ‘ashewo mode’ seems to have been activated this year as he’s allegedly putting girls in body bags left, right and center. Mikollo as he is fondly called is a member of his class football team. Wait member? Lol yes, member.

UTHMAN ABDULLAH – Class of ’18

Uthman is no doubt a handsomely moulded work of art. Looks? Height? He’s got it all. Although his afro is definitely what stands him out the most. That thing costs a fortune to maintain. Apparently, he possesses a dark side too as we hear he has a roster of his ‘dealings’. He does not need your love, just you. He is also definitely on the market, so why not just trap him at the Law Dinner with that extra cleavage revealing outfit?

VICTORY ABANG – Class of ’17

What is a bachelor’s list without this fine male specimen? Tall, light skinned, great hairline, no potbelly…the fulfilment of every girl’s dreams. Abang is a former HOC of the Justice Kayode-Eso Chambers. Ladies please be careful around him, lest a particular female feel threatened. You have been warned.
YOMI OGUNDARE – Class of ’17

Or  Rolake as he is fondly called, whichever you prefer. Sweet, sensitive, kind, easy on the eyes…Yomi! Don’t let your eyes linger too long though, unless you believe that having a girlfriend is no barrier to true love. In which case you have our best wishes.
ILEMOBADE OLATERU-OLAGBEGI – Class of ’17

The name speaks for itself, need we say more? President of the Maritime Forum, University of Lagos, focused, hardworking and with two very cute dimples. We are certain you are not the only one with a crush on this guy, we love him too. He just might be perfect.
RAHMAN APALARA – Class of ’17

Rahman of the Mooting Society. Rahman with the nerdy glasses. Rahman with the looks and intellect of Sheldon Cooper. This bright, confident, soft spoken young man is the future. So ladies, now is the time to start planning your future kids. Wouldn’t you want a Rahmy junior running about in a couple of years?
BAFEWA SANNI – Class of ’17

Bafewa Sanni has probably made every eligible bachelors list since he entered the Faculty. Bafewa Sanni will probably make every eligible bachelors list until he retires. Tall, fine, tall, dark skinned, tall, rich, tall, model, tall! Bafewa is always served hot and ready to go. So ladies, if you think you’ve got the appetite for this spicy dish, Please shoot your shot. Time is not on your side.

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

So there you have it folks, our ASUU strike edition of the Eligible Bachelors list. And ladies, the very dope part is, we have it on good authority that majority of these fine ass gentlemen will be at the Law Dinner tomorrow. Therefore, the only relevant question now is… where will you be?

#EligibleBachelors2017

#LawDinner2017

#FashionPoliceTomorrow

#etcetera

Published by Great Opara,

For the Lss Blog.

 

 

TRUTH OR WASH?

Good evening people. First things first. If this ‘holiday’ is not going as planned for you, then the Blog Committee is here to rescue you. If you are, however, enjoying the holiday on the other hand…. lol kindly indulge us please.
Okay. How many of us strongly remember that Eldee’s ‘Wash Wash‘ song back in 2011? You do? Chai! My sister you need to get married and FAST! age is no longer on your side.
Anyway, this article is based loosely around the ‘wash‘ concept. Now we all know what a ‘wash‘ is. All those supposedly little white lies and ‘formats’ that we all drop once in a while, just to feel bad ass. Relax! We all do it and it’s truly nothing to feel ashamed of.
As Law students, we present ourselves as the “crème-de-la-crème” of the entire University of Lagos society. And it’s true of course…for the most part. Sometimes however, our crème (cream) is just a little bit spoilt and rotten.
This article is dedicated to all those little lies and washes that go hand-in-hand with our black and white, well polished brogues, beautiful hairstyles and gigantic, over priced textbooks.
The rules are simple: Just Drop A Wash. That’s it. Drop a wash in the comment box. A popular wash. A funny wash. One that hits you close to home. One that irritates you. Any wash whatsoever. We’re basically giving you an opportunity to vent and rant. You can even include the name of the person who’s known for dropping that particular wash, along with the wash (if you get the mind shaa).
For example:
Year4 student running for LSS President: “I’ve never had a carryover before. Ah! Yes o, only A’s and B’s. And I don’t even know where the Law Library is”
LMUN person who’s never spoken to you before: “ahn ahn, my guy how far nw? How’s your dad? And your mum? And your brother? And sister? And your second brother? And that your roommate? What about your studies? Anyway, have you heard that LMUN…”
That popular Head of Chamber/ Association: ” Ah! You have to join my Chamber. It’s the best Chamber. In fact, we’re just the best everything. Yes! 200 internships every holiday. You know nw. That’s just how we do. Price of form? It’s just 1K bros”
I’m sure you all get the general idea. So please, fill up the comments section with all the ‘Faculty of Law‘ washes you can think of. Let’s all laugh away Company Law, Land Law, Criminal Law and Contract. Please ehn, let them be as funny, thought provoking and reasonable as you can think of. Don’t forget reasonable o, cos when someone is stabbing you behind Jaja hostel, we shall not be there to save you.
Finally, with the way this thing has been hyped, all the ‘Chaos‘ and ‘chaos is coming‘ everywhere, you’re probably expecting a prize or something for the comment with the most views/likes. lol sorry about that. No vex. Stop expecting please, there’s no money for prize giving in this economy abeg.
So go ahead, drop your favorite washes in the comment section, laugh, like, share, move on, come back et cetera. Ejoor!
#ChaosHasCome
Published by Great Opara, 

For the Blog Team

 

MEET THE 2017 BLOG COMMITTEE

Hello and good day. The greatest stories ever told are always the ones that involve rebirth. Or the conquering of a nemesis. Stories like ‘Hercules’ finally manning up and defeating Hades in his own cabal and ‘The Phoenix’ rising from the dying flames and ashes to become version 2.0, or even Buhari finally succeeding in his bid for the presidency (allow us please, we’re going somewhere). The point is this is one of such stories, albeit in a slightly different context.

       In the faculty of law, there has also been those select individuals who make the business of everyone else their own business. These individuals who by the blood of their pens and strength of their intellect, seek to simply inform the world the best way they know how…by writing. They are the fashion police, the gossip columnists, social media warlords, political commentators and sports analysts. They breathe to write and write to breathe. You may know them by many names but to us, they are simply ‘The Blog Committee’ and today we present these maestros to you. Meet the 2017 Blog Committee.

​1. Charles Durueke

Class of ’21

Segment: photojournalism, fiction

– Charles is a witty chap (from another dimension) with an unbreakable love for FC Barcelona, jollof rice and most importantly, writing.

2. Efemena Gabriel Enivwenaye

Class of ’20

Segment: sports

– Efe is in love with sports. He believes his sporting knowledge definitely influences his writing.

3. Titilope Adedokun

Class of ’20

Segment: lifestyle, reviews, interviews

– Titilope is a writer who dreams of an incredible future complete with great people, amazing opportunities, fancy flowers and great food.

4. Oyindasola Onwuchekwa

Class of ’20

Segment: literature/writing, News and Events

– Oyindasola is a female young person who loves to read and write about everything under the sun. She sees writing as a way of expressing her imagination and gets her inspiration from real life experiences (sometimes)

5. Martin Achimugu

Class of ’20

Segment: fiction

– Martin is a big fan of movies and animations and is either asleep or eating most of the time.

6. Joshua Nwabuikwu

Class of ’20

Segment: imaginative writing

– Joshua is a rebel, anti conventional and is a hip hop head.

7. Dolapo Omotoso Oreoluwa

Class of ’19

Segment: barely legal

– Dolapo is a social writer who believes a single day in Lagos has a thousand stories just waiting to be told.

8. Folashade Edun

Class of ’19

Segment: literature/writing

– Folashade has a keen eye for details around her and out of this profound observation for her environment stems her love for writing.

9. Oluwatoyin Fadoju

Class of ’19

Segment: opinion

– Oluwatoyin is a purpose driven woman whose passion lies in making people understand the deeper aspects of life and this she firmly believes has influenced her writing.

10. Samuel Ajayi

Class of ’19

Segment: politics

– Samuel Ajayi is SamAzing, an award winning debater and Pen Lord.

11. Ayomide Alajogun

Class of ’19

Segment: poetry

– Ayo considers herself too awesome for this planet. She is a hopeless romantic who can find a song to sing for everything you say. She is also a music junkie.

12. Olamide Davis

Class of ’19

Segment: law geek

– Olamide hopes to inspire the world, one article at a time.

13. Taiwo Famakinde

Class of ’19

Segment: opinion

– passionate writer. music freak

14. Miracle Eme

Class of ’18

Segment: fiction

– Miracle is an ambivert and avid writer with an addiction for the written word.

15. Oluwamayowa Akinyemi

Class of ’18

Segment: News and Events, fiction

– Oluwamayowa is a twenty-something year old multifaceted artist, avid reader of almost anything written in English, the first of three children and enjoys writing both fact and fiction.

16. Tomiwa Adebanjo

Class of ’18

Segment: diaries, fiction

– Greatness in a small human form; lover of beans.

Great Opara

Class of ’18

Segment: Blog admin

– First of his name. Writer. Public Speaker. Defender of the Blog

 

THE LAST DAY OF CHRISTMAS (LONGEST ARTICLE EVER SEEN ON THE LSS BLOG)

For the past year, a group of people have been working to produce the content on this blog. A group of writers, editors, analysts, critics. A Team. And to end the year, and our tenure, we have all decided to give you one last article. Below is a set of pieces, from the people behind your favorite columns, written individually, but put up collectively. So that you can enjoy a buffet, befitting of the festive period. An all you can read buffet. So who is your favorite blog author, is it the famed SamAzing or is it the brain behind “Chronicles of the Illegally Legal”, Great Opara;  find them, and read them… As you do all the rest of us. 

THE FIRST DAY : WURAOLA FAGBAMIYE 

CLASS OF ’17. BEAUTY QUEEN. CONTRIBUTOR TO ‘SELF HELP FOR DUMMIES’

Final Leap

The cold bit into her feet as she walked. Cold and alone she shivered but made no attempt to run for shelter and warmth. She had her mind made up on where exactly she was going to be in the nearest future; at the bottom of the bridge buried under the waves and suffocating to death.

 

OVERALL BEST GRADUATING STUDENT FROM LAW SCHOOL 2016 – AYO KADIRI

Law School is hard. Your lowest grade is your graduating class. There is a lot of pressure. 

These are a few of the things we hear about The Nigerian Law School, which is the final gate, standing between us, and our License to practice the Legal profession in Nigeria. And so making a 2.1 from Law School is no small feat. It means your lowest grade was a B! Now talk about bagging a First Class! Means you made a straight 5 points! But that is not all…to be best graduating student, it means your individual grades were the highest! You 5.0 was the ‘5.0-iest’…and that, is a big deal. A very VERY big deal!

It is our pleasure to announce that this year, the singular person who achieved this feat is one of ours. Ayo Kadiri of the Law Class of ’15 just got called to the Bar, and it was no small call. Before she went on to do this, we’ll have you know that while still in school, she was a founding member of the Blog Committee, an Exco of the Gani Chambers, Editor in Chief of the Lex Observer, was the first representative of the Tax Club at the Tax Quiz of the Annual Tax Conference…and she made a 2.1.

What prospects the Legal profession holds for her cannot be imagined, as she is already being terribly coveted by law firms all over Nigeria, the UK, and beyond. We will be sure to keep our fingers crossed, and our ears open for her news when she takes the scene. Did we forget to say, Congratulations Barrister Ayodele Kadri!

Who said hard work doesn’t pay……oh that’s right, Nobody.

Published By William-Adusa Hosanna and Great Opara

 

I DON’T LIKE THAT…

Make us a promise will you? Promise us that if any part of this article makes you smile, you will comment, and share the link with at least three of your friends. You’ve promised. It’s a debt.

---

 

 

I don’t like that faculty, it is too much stress…

Juwaedat Ajoke…to Hosanna William

After that conversation, Hosanna thought about it. It is true that we are law students, the cool kids of Unilag, the ones who have a library all to themselves, the ones who finish their final year exams before any other faculty, and don’t give a hoot about convocation, the well-dressed super savvy smart talking students, who win every argument at home and anywhere that there are no other law students. And when the arguments are between us, it takes years of adjournment upon adjournment in court to decide who the winner is. I guess we’re bad like that.

But you see it’s actually not all rosy for us. Not at all! We act all cool but deep down, there is a lot of silent pain and anger. We are actually pretty frustrated people, and you’ll be shocked at how silly some of the things that constantly tick us off on a daily basis can be. But since we are better at coding than Gates and Jobs, you’ll never know, unless we tell you.

Why don’t we then? For once, let us let loose, let us let go of the shackles of restraint and ‘being nice’, and let us complain. Let us rant, let us tell ourselves, and each other what the things that bug and bite us about the faculty are. It could be anything, even people. And so myself, along with the blog team put together some of our own annoyances about the faculty to blaze the trail. Read, then follow our lead…

 

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THE INCOMING ADMINISTRATION? AND WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE NEXT SESSION? HOLIDAY VOX POP

Hey there! For many different reasons, it’s been a while. Save for the exam jacking, politics and elections, faculty stress, and what have you, 2016 has been a great year! The curtains have been drawn on the Resurgence Administration, and it has been a great ride. Bumpy, but still great. 
In this edition, we bring you intriguing topics in a pair. As usual, respondents ranged from incoming hyper year twos, indifferent year threes, ‘just-there’ year fours, aaaaand ‘already-thinking-about-law-school’ but happy year fives.

First, the baton has been passed from RESURGENCE to SWD. What do you expect from this incoming administration?

“For the fruits of their tree to be asserted.” -Ted.

“I expect a better coordinated LSS, in terms of the execution of their duties and plans. The last admin failed in terms of organising and coordinating its aactivities like law dinner. Students welfare is basically zero in the faculty; the lounge is a good start. Also, a better trust fund for indigent students going to law school. The LSS should be more transparent and accountable; there were various reports of misappropriation of funds in the last administration. We as students should be better intimated on how the LSS is run.” -Emmanuel.

“I just expect them to deliver as promised.” -Sonia.

“Fix our lounge! It’s in dire need of development. Fine, it can’t evolve, but at least let it develop. I must not hear them organizing tutorials. The lounge is depressing.” -Folarin.

“Work on those areas the former admin was lacking and stick to their manifesto as well. Most importantly, they should have the students at heart; the faculty at heart please I beg them.” -Makua

“Really, just improvements.I know that there are obvious differences in the faculty but I expect unity. Impact over ceremony. Better events and a lasting impression, with or without 15million. Sustainability. Welfare. Difference. That’s all.” -‘Meen.

“A bouncing baby boy. Or an epoch decision. Truly; maintaining the status quo.” -Mubarak.

“No high hopes. The administration plans seem like castles in the sky. I’d be happy if they are accomplished although I seriously doubt that. However would like to see how SWD would improve the brand of the awesome law student and mighty law faculty which has suffered hits from past administration.” -Michael.

“Good food at law dinner. More internship slots.” -David.

“I expect them to cater for the welfare of students, not only academically with tutorials and the likes, but all round: sports, psychologically, spiritually. During election season, a lot of promises are made, I’m hoping this year, the promises are actualized.” -Lanre.

“I expect them to recognize young entrepreneurs in the faculty and give them awards, like fashion designers of the year, photographer of the year, models, makeup artists and stuff like that.” -Akin.

Well said well said.

On to the next one. The year is coming to an end. What are your plans and projections for the coming year? Man proposes, God disposes. But this does not stop law students from sketching those plans at least.

“The goal for next session will always be the goal to evolve. Year 2 was a breeze and they say the higher, the cooler. So more effort sha. Also, to make Oil and Gas Bar at the top of the food chain. Like it or not, oil is the present and future. And finally, to meet a girl that’ll motivate me to be a better person, and I’ll fall absolutely in love with.”

“I am working on private projects which would be made known to the public at the right time. And considering the fact that I do not think that the current administration would satisfy my needs as a law student, I would be very distant from faculty activities I have no interest in.”

“I plan to increase my CGPA, do more school work, and stay out of faculty activities.”

“I want an easy ride next session.”

“Going for Senate. Would start timing myself right from week 3 for exams. I seem to be fairly good writing stories. I wonder if i can make something of it. New agenda; outspoken introvert.”

“I can’t really say yet. But I plan to renovate myself and my business basically.”

“I want to do professional courses, second half of the year. ACCA, Citn, maybe. Then read and pass land law and equity and all others very well.”

Well said well said. That’s all on this edition. Do well to drop your comments below. Happy holidays!
Peace.

From Taiwo Famakinde’s desk

For the Blog 

Published by William-Adusa Hosanna and Great Gatsby, sorry, Opara