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Category Archives: Our Students

ADRONITIS

Only a phrase resounds in my head, “I’m sorry “ .If you ask me, I don’t know for what exactly. No, I don’t particularly have any regrets, but I definitely feel the absence of your youthful presence.Your courage, I immediately admired, saying you loved me , investing so much time to that effectgave so much to know me , and you still had all for loss.
If only I knew me, I’ve never quite deciphered what this creature “Me” is about. When you ask me , who exactly I am, what I want, what my spec is, or what captivates me; All these questions, lead me to a door, that may lead to a possible answer, walking through this door with all excitement to find you these answers, I am only welcomed by the barricade of yet another door and another.
Forgive me, forgive my inability to love you back, I do not know how to. I do not know what “ Right” is right or might be wrong.
Pardon me for shutting the door against any acknowledgement of your love, I’m just skeptical, reality in itself might not be real, and the word “ Love” in itself might be synonymous to hurt, deceit and hate.
I see your back now, walking away with all determination, because you finally see, the things I couldn’t bring myself to tell you; that I’m not that one, I’m not worthy of this love of yours and you cannot discern my complexities , you never will, I can’t myself.
I replay your last words to me and the coldness with which they were relayed , I replay the words you first blurted out and the gleaming passion in your eyes. The story wouldn’t have been any different , I am still a puzzle , laid back, not able to fix itself. So let me be, that lone warrior, whose appearance is as a dove, but whose rigours is as the troubled sea’s.
You have shown me that I am not without any emotions, a cold heart .I feel my heart’ s hurt in every word I scribble down. You have opened yet another door, I thought was lost in oblivion, and for this, I pledge my gratitude from the other side.
Written by Folasade Edun

 

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I, NOCTURNAL, NOCEUR

I understand in life there’s a cycle for everything, and furthermore, there is the average standard to these cycles, of which you mustn’t fall below or above.
You see, above all cycles is the lifecycle, where a person cannot die too young or else he was killed by superficial forces ,or live too old as then, he would be tagged as the superficial force behind the death of his younger generations.
Embedded in this major cycle, is the eating cycle, where you can’t eat a little too little else you’re tagged sick or a bit too much and you’re called glutton.
Then there’s also the growth cycle where you can’t be too short for your age else you’re asked to overdose on pulse (beans), or too tall and then you’re condemned to the basketball court.You can’t be too thin else you have sickle cell or you’re too fat and you’re almost never getting a boyfriend i.e you’re obese😂😂.

Most important of these cycles, to me is the “sleep cycle”. What standard time, of the 24hours in one day, is the human body and mind paralysed to sleep and it’s activities numbed to slumber?. Biology tells me to every human, 8 hours of an ephemeral bedrest is allocated. Logically calculated this would be from 11pm-6am. When a person falls short of the yardstick of this highly exhorted cycle , he is named after Jonah i.e sleepyhead, Lazy, or ornery, all qualifying “Abnormal”.

On a first note, I’m lucid at night and a great slug by daybreak. Before you tag me “lazy, ornery,or sluggard ” allow me justify myself by giving a breakdown of my night plan, after the lights are out and every other normal mortal assumes their hibernation.

10:55pm…
My average African mum walks into my room, reminds me of how my usual excuse of sleeping late would not be tantamount an excuse to wake up late.She shuts the door mumbling something about how my mates are all asleep, in a bid to be up and doing the next day. I sulk under my sheets, faking my own sleep (although at this moment I wish the sleep was legitimate). I struggle , trying to keep my eyelids shut and actually try to really sleep. About two scenes from the day, come into limelight behind my eyelids and this completely flopps every plan I have to sleep at the normal time nature recquires.

11pm…
Everywhere’s dead silent now. The noise of the silence awakens my eyes back to the reality of the phone I tucked into my pillowcase at the sound of my mum’s footsteps five minutes ago.I begin to reply all my messages, including the unnecessary broadcasts with a “thank you“😩.All in a bid to discover abnormals as myself. I frolic up and around Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat as I unleash my stalking personae. At this point I remember how PHCN will not bring light in the light of the day and how I must save my subscription. I chat a little more and then I put my phone on flight mode.
3am…
At this point I tell myself its time to sleep and once again try the “eyelids shut” technique of sleeping. Sudden clatters from the kitchen indicate that the fellow nocturnals of the other specie are wide awake.I remember my mum once likened me to a rodent , and I remember the half opened cookies in the fridge. I am reminded of the sordid state of hunger my stomach is in and sneak out and back in, making a grab for the cookie. I carefully munch it in and tuck the wrap under my bed to displace any proof of my theft. I am thirsty from the stolen cookie, and once again sneak into the kitchen to get a drink from the dispenser, this time almost squashing a mouse with my foot. I hurry back after my drink and I’m determined to sleep now. Except, as i lay to sleep, I remember that I have a crush on Lanre and another round of “nightdreaming” begins. I think about what I could do to catch his attention. I remember stalking his page and seeing all those “instagram girls ” comment flirtatiously on his “hot hot” posts. Then I convince myself or instead, confuse myself, that he’d rather be into a girl like me. I dream of our prospective awkward moments of love, what marriage would feel like looking into his eyes as he looks fit in his tuxedo and I look my prettiest in my silvery white wedding dress. I then think of the famous ‘wedding night” and I’m rushed back to the reality that I’ll always be to him, if he ever noticed, the girl across his library desk. Then I console myself with the thought that one day I’d drive a Benz into the faculty in a hot black dress,dark shades , flerky hair and make up, and then, he’ll be only an option to me ☺.

5am…
The cock Iya Pelumi gave my mum as a christmas present lets out its alarming first crow and then I begin to panic. Thinking , I had just one hour left to sleep, after I once again jeopardised my bedtime. I promise myself I’d sleep only for an hour with the intent of cheating nature. Soon I am unaware of my environment and deep asleep.

10am…
I toss and turn in my sheets, wondering why the room felt unusually hot. I reluctantly open my eyes to check if the fan was still rolling and I am almost blinded by the sharp ray of the Sun from my window. I hurriedly check my phone, my mind blown off and my mouth wide agape. I rush to view my alarm icon and I soon see my notification “Missed alarm :5:30am; 5:35am; 5:40am; 5:45am, 5:50am; 5:55am; 6:00am“.
Noooo, I have a test for 10:30am“, I scream running into the bathroom with the intention of doing the infamous “rubb and shine “.

Ps : I dosed all through my test and subsequent lectures.
Ps: It’s a repeated cycle😓.

Written By Folashade Edun

Published By Great Opara

 

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MY PROBLEM WITH NIGERIAN MUSICIANS

‘’Omo I don hustle…I don sleep for gutter…I don tey for ghetto’’. Its not unusual is it? to hear musicians give us these lines on a regular, both upcoming and already established artistes. We all know that everybody works hard to get to where they are but please apply the fear of God when we tell these stories. Unsurprisingly however, it seems like the trend to have your own story of your struggle to fame, some fabricated, some legit. Recently one of the new musicians who came around in 2015 or 2016 claimed that he sold moi-moi in traffic to earn a living before he came to limelight….Really?? moi-moi in traffic?? I’ve lived in different parts of Lagos all my life and I’ve never for once seen moi-moi or any cooked food whatsoever sold in traffic. In kiosks yes…but definitely not in traffic.
One of our celebrities was even more misleading in his own tale. This chap blew like a tsunami some seven, eight years ago when he came and started shouting in his hit track ‘’don’t stop me, don’t stop me, my daddy is a rich man, don’t stop me, don’t stop me, my daddy is a rich man’’. Fine bro, your daddy is a rich man. We have heard you. Later, bros remembered ‘’áah,gbese,I’ve not told my own struggle story. So bros came and released another song where he featured another son of a rich man and then both of them started singing “back when I was broke yo,nobody was there to jonze yo,all the girls dem no want to follow blah blah’’ Egbon please pick a struggle and stop confusing us. Are you broke or rich? Everybody just wants to claim street even though some obviously had it easier. Please stop giving us bogus claims our dear musicians

Another very big lie these guys give us is ‘I spent hours in the studio working on this song…the fans don’t know how much effort I put in this track..blah blah’ Like you mean to tell me you go to the studio with your pen and pad and decide to start your song with ‘’skiboroboskibo skiboroboskibo ooshey baddest’’ or you say your music has content and the content I’m getting is “eyin eyan nla sneh…eyan nla nla nla nla nla sneh…o ta sneh…o ta bi atarodo sneh’’? Guys please stop giving us these lies we are not dummies. Just go and tell us the truth… say something like “I had absolute rubbish in mind that’s why I recorded this song…I always have rubbish in mind when I record my songs’ cos that’s what you always reflect in your songs.

It’s also important for you to start with a standard you can maintain. Big ups to whoever sang gbera in this aspect for consistently maintaining his standard not trying to go above or below it.(please don’t go below it egbon) as there are people that like to listen to music like ‘’dog number one…run,dog number two…run, dog number three…run, dog number four is coming oooo so run,run,run,run’’ and he has his market but please if you start off like J.Cole don’t come and start giving me Young Thug later in your career. This is why they said you blew and went back to upcoming.
A big shout out too, to all those musicians that are steady trying to make good music especially the one that was chased away from his record label by his hausa brothers and the one that the ‘’Sho Le’’ singer took his headies next rated car from him, your reward will come in due time. You that you promised us Grammy and you’ve not brought it home. Two of you actually,wehdone sirs. To all of you that went international and started giving us international rubbish like you that was teaching us numbers and nursery rhymes in the song about your dad, God will judge you and you that was trying to build a music empire with Tonto Dikeh as your first lady and K.Switch as your headline act…what were you expecting really?

All of you one hit wonders too abi two hit or three hit wonders…how market na?? Una go just come release one or two songs and go and under the radar again. All of you that are wasting your big record labels…you gotta B REDy for a music career before signing a record deal na. No be by bromance and money. You need small talent. You too that died and came back…please next time don’t come back abeg. Just carry your pink lips cream and be going abeg.
Lets talk about the names too. The names some of these guys give themselves can help them to either destroy their market or promote it. Na now Ice Prince go realise sey Ice dey eventually melt if nepa off light and wey BlackMagic go discover sey it’s not always by juju. Na why slyde just slide out as him take slide in and we all know that Scales are not always balanced that’s why that dude blows hot and cold. I honestly don’t know what Kiss Daniel was thinking too when he chose his name.Mr Incredible will always stand tall against his contemporaries in this name game forever but no be by name sha…just ask Solid Star or 9ice or Sugarboy…your name fit sweet mey your music no dey ok but at least we go still wan try you out.

My dear Nigerians, please lets also stop celebrating mediocrity. The rave of the moment now (at least before he went to jam talk and compared us to Ghana) keeps on recycling his beats and gives us regular lyrics and be shouting zagadat upandan. You too that Folake is catching your shot (how does this even make any sense??), continue. Keep on exploiting the Nigerian market that cannot identify good music and keep on patronising you saying ‘’club jam, club banger’’ Its high time we learn to look at content and lyrics and stop listening to all these vulgar jargon even though they are actually groovy. Meaningful music can also be groovy e.g Ajebutter and Falz’s bad gang
Big ups to Uncle Edward too. He realised that Clarence was collecting too much money from them videos so he went to study videography and film making and started shooting his videos himself. Sharp guy. You too that went to America to charge your phone…hope sey the battery don full now.

Gender equality requires that I also evaluate our female musicians and the standard of their work. You, my crush that started doing lovey dovey with Nigeria’s own R. Kelly and the Igbo demon of our music industry. Don’t worry, I still love you but please no go carry belle…same goes to Simi and Folarin/Kunle. You wey go dey form Barbara Marley upandan…e be like sey that your German juice don expire. Abeg just carry that your nose ring and red hair to Big Brother Naija house. Na your type dem dey find for there not the music industry.
Aunty Tiwa Swift that basically graduated from backup singer of foreign artists to selfie taker with the foreign artists…big ups on your success. Maybe you can also help Hadijat to sort out her career so she can in turn help you to sort out your marriage. Big shout out too, to Darey Art Alade’s surname sake…even though the contrast in your music are like water and oil, enjoy your stardom and keep on winning them awards. We hope you find Johnny one day so you can finally change your Twitter name or get married. You don dey old too lowkey.

Finally, all of you that won music talent shows like The Voice, Project Fame and the likes that have struggled to remain relevant now that the party is over…una no try. Big shoutout to the likes of Praiz and Timi Dakolo who participated in these shows and have still managed to retain a level of influence and stay true to their style…in a way at least. Let me also appreciate our golden oldies like Tu Baba and the P Square for succeeding in remaining relevant despite the evolution of the entertainment industry…God bless your hustle.

P.S This is just my critique of the music industry in Nigeria. You don’t need to agree with it. Abeg if you think I’ve wongfully criticised your favourite artiste…no vex. It’s all bants.

Written by Korede Awosika, Class of ’18

 

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REVIEW – MANIFESTO: THE FOURTHCOMING

If TEC is king, then Law Class of ‘19 is one almighty class. Okay, you can say I am biased. Well, that’s your business. I mean the “eloquencial dexterity” displayed by the members of that class at Manifesto: The Fourthcoming has no comparison. From Oguntade Damilola of Maritime Forum. , Ademiluwa Ipinnuoluwa of the Alternative Dispute Resolution Society , Ajayi Samuel of The Tax Club , Nadine Okeguale of the Mooting Society , Deborah Oguike of the Book Club , Dolapo Omotosho of the Justice Oputa Chamber , Dosunmu Agboola Mubarak of the National Association of Muslim Law Students , Akinkuolie Ibitayo of the Oil and Gas Bar, Habeeb Adetunji Adeleke of the Kayode Eso Students Chamber, Emmanuel Abaniwo of the Christian law Student Society , Akindele Anointed of the host society, Taslim Elias Chambers, and there was a “special appearance” by Yinka-Gregg Gregg of the Gani Fawehinmi Students Chamber. I would not have expected less as 50% of the contestants were members of the Mooting Society. The Law annex was aflame from 12:50pm to 6:00pm.

The first speakers came with less fire and everyone was busy playing candy crush or gossiping. The second set was better with Nadine and Abaniwo, aka pastor posh. They got the attention of everyone and  with O’Nadine’s make up on fleek, that was made very easy. It got even better when Dosunmu Agboola Mubarak, presidential aspirant for NAMLAS and Ajayi Samuel of the Tax Club came in with the Law Class of ‘19 habit of throwing shades. Their arguments were very interesting and reasonable.

At the debates were going on, comments were being passed on papers which were read after the first round. Just too many funny comments.

You would never know how petty law students can be until you see them display. Some were professing undying love for some of the debaters, others were commenting like they were preparing a diss track. Haters!

After the first round, top five debaters were to proceed to the second round. Omotosho Dolapo and Nadine Okeguale tied at the 5th position, Oguntade Damilola came 4th, Dosunmu Agboola came 3rd,Samuel Ajayi came 2nd and Ademiluwa Ipinnuoluwa came 1st. The second round of the debate was impromptu and after all was said and done, Samuel Ajayi came 3rd,Dosunmu Agboola came 2nd and Oguntade Damilola emerged the winner.

The chow was lit, as usual, just that recession affected the size of the plate. The DJ was throwing in some mad ass gbedu and almost everyone started dancing, apart from those eating, excluding Chima. His first dance partner got tired, so the boy went ahead to find a new dance partner and you will not believe what he found;a class of ‘20 sister in the Lord who loves to believe she is a very excellent dancer, I mean she even represented the class at the last edition of Law’s Got Talent. Everyone gathered to watch her dance and she thought they liked her style. But people, like me were amazed at how someone could be so ridiculous about it. Great Opara, the HOC of the host Chamber, TEC made the DJ stop the music and the madness at exactly 6pm. The fear of rustication is real.

The point is, from the beginning of the program to the end of the program and after the end of the program was so lit. Anticipate The Manifesto 5.0.

Review By Ayomide Alajogun

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2017 in Event Review, Our Students

 

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CHRONICLES OF THE ILLEGALLY LEGAL S2 E6

There comes a time in a man’s life when he must sit down, look within himself and truly reflect upon his existence in general and whether or not things are going well for his immortal soul. This point in life has been called several names; some call it a moment of clarity, others call it sober reflection et cetera, but regardless of whatever title it holds the essence of said reflection is that…in that moment, man is truly honest with himself.

The time is 4am and I am currently undergoing my own moment of clarity. I am sitting behind the counter at the Unilag Security Post along with about one million and one other human beings. In simpler terms, we’re all locked up at Alpha Base. Like the real base o. The base of the Alphas. The home of the men in blue. The cabal. The evil fores…shaa you get the point. I’ve never been so confused in my life. Imagine being woken up by armed security men (we all know there’s no bullet in the gun but just stay with me please) by 2am because your neighbour lodged a complaint that she left her room door open to goan bathe and when she came back some of her stuff was missing. And the next logical thing was for the Alphas to come, pound on our doors like mad people, rouse us all from sweet sleep and then transport us to the evil forest where our judgement awaits. Do y’all see all the many many things wrong with this current state of affairs?

Amean, my roommates and I were even forming baddos and we drove our own car here simply cos we couldn’t enter their van to come and go to the Base. Ahn Ahn think about it nw. Chairmen like us and we’ll nw goan enter that their dirty, rusty, broken down, formerly white contraption, when we have ride? The gods forbid it. We drove here, blasting music through the speakers and all…chilled life really. We were under the impression that it was a basic issue and all we had to do was simply show up, declare our innocence and they would bid us goodbye and farewell, maybe even apologise for the inconvenience they caused us. Loool yunno when you use your own two legs to enter gbese? On top matter that we know nothing about.

It’s now 2pm, I have been here since 2am. That’s twelve hours people of god. Once again, I’m so confused. In these twelve hours, I’ve come to truly understand just how effective the criminal justice system of our dear country is. See, you can do Criminal Law two times or even four times sef depending on how much you love the course, but you’ll never really…appreciate it until you undergo your very own, well tailored, personal experience. You might have crammed Okonkwo and Naish from beginning to end but until you’re behind the counter and one potbellied old illiterate is giving you all those ‘Jack Bauer’ type of threats, you cannot adequately comprehend the injustice of criminal justice.

All the other humans I came along with are giving me side eye and looks that say “no be this guy wey talk say e be law student?”. I really do not care anymore, after all most engineering students can’t even fix fan. And all the Department of English students I know prefer Yoruba to English, and not just any Yoruba o but the very very thick one that you have to be a true son of the soil before you can understand. When we first got here and I still had energy, I was busy ranting and quoting all the sections and laws pertaining to illegal detainment and fundamental human rights, while the Baba of the Base was just looking at me and smiling like “see this idiot, you never jam”. Now, almost 13hours later and without food in my system, the only relevant law I can think of is the law of the jungle which says Only The Strong Will Survive. I know that last last, I cannot kuku die. Even though this entire situation is designed to destroy any and all hope you might possess. Like, when we got here someone was chained to the wall…by his feet. And it’s not handcuffs or rope o, real bastard chain. All these industrial types that they use in factories and all. I almost felt sorry for the young man back then but now he has been released while we still remain here. These people are staring at us as if they are looking for the next person to chain. Dass the one I cannot even agree for. It’s better they just carry me to Kirikiri Maximum Prison lemme just know that I’m a criminal true true than for them to chain me up in Alpha Base. Although, at this point we all pretty much look like the descendants of Ali Baba and The Forty Thieves. The worst part about this place is where it’s situated. I can literally see freedom right in my very before, and with freedom comes all the beautiful girls of the University of Lagos. Since I’ve been here, the number of mammy water that have passed this place ehn…chisos! At one point, I almost asked if I can be coming here everyday, yunno just to help them out and shi. But I quickly changed my mind. Before someone will finally chain me up for assuming too much.

The hours drag on and on. We and the security men have gone from being enemies to acquaintances to best of friends back to enemies and then to friends again. We’ve gisted all the gist in this world, all that’s remaining now is for them to just offer us employment. And I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to do the work too cos from all I’ve seen today, the only training whatsoever that these men received is on How to Waste people’s time. Ah! These people have bsc in Time Wasting and Rubbish Questions. Two or three of them should be going abroad for Masters by now. I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in 2017. Someone will coman lodge a complaint or report someone and the response of the Gentlemen of the Base will just blow your mind. But all this one is not my concern, I just wanna leave this place.

A couple of hours earlier, one of my fellow ‘inmates’ called his parents to save US (I assumed we were all in this together, big mistake) from this place, and his parents came and later on they had to invite one very big lawyer just to secure their son’s freedom. At this point, the rest of us should probably have begun to appreciate the gravity of the issue but wetin concern us, no be ordinary Alpha Base? Last last we go just give them 5H make them buy food sigh. It’s now almost 6:30 in the evening, and I’m as confused as a year one Law student. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without food in my entire life. And to think that we came here in our own car o. Ah!

Apparently, the parents of the boy have been able to secure the release of himself and his friend and it at this point that the situation becomes very clear. Everything is happening at the same damn time. The boy and his friend are leaving ALL of us behind. Even if you wanna leave us cos we’re really not in the same room with you, at least carry all your roommates now. I see the shock, confusion and fear on the faces of his roommates and it is almost funny. Almost. At this same time, the Sabo Police men that these people have been threatening us with finally arrive in a van big enough to carry all of us and our relatives in the village too. The way things are just escalating is staring to resemble one of those poorly scripted Nollywood movies. And it’s not as if my own parents don’t have mouth or I cannot call them or something, is just that my parents were quite against me getting a BQ inside school and they’ll simply turn something like this into an “I told you so” moment. My father might even just tell me that he will call me tomorrow and then end the call.

The Sabo people are standing by while the highly trained Alpha Base offices are trying to decide by our faces who they should transfer to Sabo Police Station and who should remain behind. BY OUR FACES!!
As it starts to seem that all hope is lost and the lawyer woman is about to enter her very beautiful car and drive off, while majority of us spend the night in a cell, I say a final prayer to heaven and my ancestors and whoever else might be listening. It seems it worked cos this woman takes one final look into the Base and our eyes connect. I can only imagine the desperate look in my eyes because this very wonderful woman gets out of her car and returns to the Base and beckons me over. Ladies and gentlemen, if you think you can beg or plead, I assure you that next to me you’re like a member of the Law Class of ’20 football team standing beside Lionel Messi. I’ve never begged like that in my entire life. See ehn, after my performance Buhari should just appoint me as the Begging General of the Federation.

To end everything, this woman secures our release and renews my faith in the power of the Law (or in the power of a well connected lawyer). We hurriedly sign all the statements and undertakings binding us to present ourselves for further questioning whenever we are required to by the security operatives, even as we know that we are never setting foot in this place again. Well, except to inquire about all the very fine females I saw tod…god what is wrong with me please?

As we walk back to our various rooms, happy and free, I consider just getting to my room, packing up all my bags and just moving into one of the hostels to goan squat. Then I remember how cold the AC in my room is and I hurriedly change my mind.

On the way back, I cannot help but look around and admire just how beautiful and wonderful Unilag is. Freedom is truly a glorious thing. Even Biobaku that used to look like a dungeon to me now seems like a palace as I walk past it.
Lool nahh, not really.

Great Opara

 

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LSS CLUB SYSTEM

The Faculty of Law, Unilag Football Association(FLUFA), is organising
the First Edition of the Club System that would run through all the
levels in the Faculty. The tournament comprises four teams consisting
of players from the five levels.
The teams are:
1. Donchester united
2. Skylords FC
3. Vado FC and
4. Mafia FC
Players from the different levels have been drafted into different
teams to promote unity as well as to help young players gain
experience before the forthcoming pre-season games and the Professor
Abiola Ojo sports festival and also to keep the older players fit.

The tournament started on Saturday, 11th February with the following fixtures
Vado FC vs Donchester United
Mafia FC  vs Skylords FC
This promises to be one hell of a tournament.

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2017 in LSS Games, Sports Yarn

 

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USELESS THINGS

A door without a knob
Corn without a cobb
Flag without a pole
Cereal without a bowl.

Eagle without a wing
A castle without a king
Fire without a spark
Dog without a bark.

A basket without a hoop
A chicken without a coop
A rainbow without colour
An athlete without vigour.

A pen without ink
A skate without a rink
A clock without a hand
A guitar without a band.

Santa without a sleigh
A horse without a neigh
An alley without gangsters
A classroom without pranksters.
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