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A MERRY VILLAGE CHRISTMAS, PART TWO

Part two of the series

You know how the lead actors and actresses run away from danger in the movies? The calm, collected, calculated demeanor, the wind lifting their gorgeous hair around, the way they jump over obstacles. Yeah? Well, this was nothing like that.
First of all, I wasn’t calm. My brother or sister, I was screaming at the top of my lungs. Screaming very loudly. Very very loudly. Secondly, I wasn’t jumping over obstacles. I was jumping into them. You see, till you enter the maze that is a village forest, you cannot understand. Clumps of thick soil, branches of dead trees, long vines (even the spirits needed their wine) and the occasional animal littered the place. Thirdly, I don’t have long hair.

I also didn’t know where I was going. I had realised this immediately I entered the bush. I couldn’t turn back anyways. Unless I wanted to walk into the masquerades. And that wasn’t happening. So I forged on. And on. And on. Deeper and deeper into the thick forest.
The most annoying thing was that through all this, I could hear my attackers behind me in slow, confident, measured footsteps. This was their turf, their home. They were taking their time. Sooner or later, I’ll fumble. Tears flowed down my face as I begged God for forgiveness for all of my sins. For kissing Bukky after church service on Sunday, for all the pieces of meat I had appropriated. For all the times I inflated textbook prices. All of this while thinking of a means of escape.

Then it hit me. Not a bright idea on how to escape the masquerades but a really strong stone. I crumpled to the ground. As my eyes closed, I saw my attackers circling me.
Save me Lord Jesus.

Written By Joshua Nwabuikwu

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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VOX POP: LGT 5.0 AND FASHION SHOW

Hi everyone! We back with a bang! ✨
I’m really sorry for that wack ass intro. Before it gets any wacker as you continue to stare at it and wonder, allow me to present the first (and maybe the only) vox populi for this semester. Law’s Got Talent and Fashion Show was on 17th day of March. It stirred up varieties of reactions from the planning to the timing to the contestants and to the “invited acts.” The main auditorium was filled quite early, and someone said: “I’m sure this place is filled up because most people here are 100l students from all walks of life.” Whatever that means, we do not know. But you get the point.
So, after the event, we decided to sample opinions of those in attendance on how they felt about the program and we further asked them to rate it over 10. Most of them begged to be anonymous. We do not know why.

Rating: 6/10.
It wasn’t as good as I expected. It could have been better though. Not so spectacular after all the rave that it would be the bomb.
anon, 400l,law.

Rating: 6/10.
It was actually rather boring. But I loved the magician, the pianist and the painting. The rest were just there. We were tired of people singing. I was hoping this year there wouldn’t be as many singers.
Ayotunde, 300l law

Rating: 4/10
It was boring and a waste of time. Could have covered some reading in land law with that time. That girl from class of ’18 with her backup angels just embarrassed us mehn.
anonymous, 400l ,law

Rating: 5/10
This was my first time attending LGT and I must confess that I was disappointed. Please there should be less singing contestants. Ahn ahn,is it project fame? It was dry mehn. The magician was okay sha.
anon, 400l,law

Rating: 9/10.
LGT was amazing. The height was when Yetunde came to perform. She shut the whole place down. Men were trying to reach for greatness while she was dancing. The visually impaired girl has a beautiful voice. I did not like the way security men locked us out. But God bless LGT. It was the bomb.
anon, 300l law.

Rating- 4/10
Not as nice as last year’s LGT.
anonymous, 400l,law

Rating: 5/10
It was sort of dry in the beginning but the ending was ok. Singing was too much,jor.where did they get those performers from sef? They didn’t make sense. The magician was cool sha alongside that bootylicious babe that danced.
Theo, 200l,English

Rating: 5/10
It was a nice show, with the clothing lines and all. The nicest part was Yetunde’s bombom. Though we didn’t see Dotman, that’s a minus from the rating.
Semi, 300l law

Rating: 6/10.
It was ok though it wasn’t as organised as the last LGT.
anon,400l law

Rating: 7/10
The magician was good and those guys with him were hot. Those abs! The comedian was also funny. The rest of the show was dry.
anon,400l law

Rating: 4/10
The program was good but i expected more. It was somehow boring. There were too many acts and performances.
Jega, 300l law

Rating: 5/10.
The show was just ok. I liked the fashion shows. Please there should be more dancers next time. The singers were too many.
Anon, 200l english.

Rating: 8.5/10
LGT was madddddd. It was fun, although it started quite late. They were just bringing useless performers at first so it was quite delayed and they were now rushing at the end. But the contestants did amazing, the magic tricks by the winner slayyeedddd. And the fashion show, oh God, the guysss 😍😍.. And let’s not forget the part everybody definitely undeniably loved: Yetunde’s dance. They were just making Pretty Mike feel like one important person, I don’t understand why he was carrying umbrella inside main aud.
Funmi, 300l law.

Rating: 4/10
The organisation was very very poor. Mic was sounding funny. Time constraint too. It was f***ed up in a way. I expected more because the bcs that were going round said it was going to be lit. I was just seeing lit lit lit all over the place.
Victor, 300l law.

So there. If you still wanna say something about the show, even though the memories are almost fading from some, feel free. The comment box is all yours (but use it wisely).
Peace.

By Taiwo Famakinde

 
 

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SERENITY

Tola can hear the megaphones of the church down the street blaring.
She hisses and draws her blankets up. She pops in her earphones and presses play on her Ed Sheeran playlist.
At least she can still sleep in peace.
Subconsciously she reaches out to the other side of the bed, Niyi’s side.
It is cold and empty. The way she felt the rainy evening he left. The day he found out about the abortion.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Niyi is spitting furious as he clutches the receipt from the nondescript clinic where she had the D&C.
His cold words and disdain sting even as she struggles to explain herself.
How could you do this to us,Tola!“, he thunders
She is mute.
Soft spoken to a fault,Niyi has never raised his voice at her in all their years together.
Still furious,he continues: “it was our child! Our child! How could you kill it with no qualms? No fear! You had an abortion without telling me! How could you?
His voice drops to a broken whisper
How could you?

Tola can’t find any answer.
All her reasons at the time seem to have evaporated. She can’t say anything justifiable, not with the naked hurt on his face.
Niyi looks at her as if seeing her for the first time.
Then with a look of distaste,he turns and stalks into their bedroom where he begins to toss his things into one of his duffel bags.
Tola finally finds her voice.
Niyi,please. Don’t leave. I can explain.
He laughs ,a mirthless sound.
Explain what?”
His voice is as cool as ice.He is still tossing his things into the bag,his back turned to her.
When we first met,we both agreed that our careers came first. We didn’t plan for this. This was a mistake.I couldn’t put this on you!

How thoughtful“, he says coldly.He whirls around to face her,his face furious.
You should have told me,damn it!“, he rages.” It was a part of me too! I was entitled to know,Tola! You call it a mistake?How could you be so selfish?
I’m sorry “,she whispers in a cracked voice” .
Please don’t leave“.
He stares at her but his eyes are those of a stranger,cold and impassive.
I can’t talk to you now, Tola. I don’t want to. I have to go“.
With that ,he zips his duffel closed and leaves without a backward glance.

The apartment door slams shut.
Alone,Tola sinks to the floor and gives in to her tears. She has never been able to cry daintily and her sobs are loud and throaty,racking her petite frame.
She has never felt this alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It’s been a month now and Niyi hasn’t still picked her calls and her trips to his office have been futile.
She has called his brother,Deji to inquire about his whereabouts but Deji’s hasty denial confirms that he knows. Niyi must have told him about it.
Tola has left endless remorseful messages on his answering machine and sent him emails and texts.
His only response is to mail back his own keys to their shared apartment.
Tola, finally coming to terms with this,the end of what they had, is an emotional mess.
And it starts to reflect,even at work.
Finally,she takes two weeks off to regain herself,whatever that means. It is what her boss suggested in that no nonsense manner of hers after she burst into tears in the middle of a meeting.
Now,on this Sunday morning,the last day of her forced leave, this church people are putting paid to her plans of sleeping in till twelve.
As she burrows in deeper,the megaphones seem to get louder as if reprimanding her.
She can’t recall when last she went to church.
Niyi wasn’t the churchgoing type and neither is she.
This church which is two blocks from her apartment is one of the new generation churches. Its enthusiastic members are always showering her with pamphlets,inviting her to this progamme or that.
Niyi used to tease her about actually honouring one of their invites.
Tola suddenly hit by an unshakeable resolve rolls out of bed and hits the shower. Then she hunts up an appropriate dress and heads out.
She walks the short distance to the church and is ushered in by a smiling usher.
She takes a tentative step in and hears the melodious peals of the singing choir.
Tola is struck instantly by an indescribable feeling,one that she hasn’t felt in a long time.
It is one that calms the turbulent emotions swirling inside her.
She feels a weightless sensation,as if she is floating in the air.
Her remorse seems to fade away.
She is at peace.

Written By Miracle Eme

Published by Great Opara

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2017 in Literature/Writing

 

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THE WILD LOUNGE – CAMOUFLAGED JUSTICE

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.“- Martin Luther King Jnr (at least I saw his pic against the
quote). Also, “Justice will not be served until those unaffected by it are as outraged as those affected” – Guy on
the hundred dollar bill.

Hi. It’s me again. Welcome to what I hope will stir you a little. I was just on my own using WiFi to check my IG
when I happened upon a picture of a woman who looked like she just got a mad tattoo, as in Michael Scofield
kind of tattoo. Upon closer look, and a glance at the comments, I realized it was marks from a serious beating, a
beating that was aptly delivered by our friends in khakis. First thing that came to mind is how she’s still alive, and
why she was beaten. Now, the answer to latter is quite funny. The woman challenged a soldier for having
slapped her brother – which she had the right to, but as we know, the inconsistent nature of our judicial system
doesn’t cater to certain things. I mean, the law enforcement people have better things to do with their time.

Now, now, my question is this: what kind of Nigerian person challenges a military officer for anything?? These
guys have unlimited power! If they don’t like your face, they can beat it into shape, and you can’t do anything.
They have absolute power. They’re the only guys that can assault you mentally and of course otherwise, and
nothing happens. So, I wonder why we think taking pictures, sharing on Facebook, and retweeting will change
the status quo. Look at the other disabled guy they beat, didn’t they still smile with him later on? The only real
reason they’d do that is because they love you. Just like your parents after they punish you and still smile with
you later on. It doesn’t mean they won’t still slap you within the hour. It’s just the way life is. So, this scenario is
like challenging your parents for slapping you, or one of your siblings. Are you high?? You’re only setting yourself
up for a beat down. And you’d eventually spite yourself for doing “over sabi” because low key, the only thing this
woman gained from standing up for her brother was internet infamy and scars that will only remind her that
some fights are not yours. Unfortunately, she’s had to learn her lesson the hard way. You don’t hit the tiger for
being a beast, you steer clear of it! Otherwise, you pay dearly, like a certain English soccer team after Tuesday
last week. I’m not saying that you should not stand up for the rights you think you’re entitled to as a “bloody
civilian”, I’m saying when you do so, you should be ready to bear the consequences. And this also applies to
people who publish open letters without anonymity, because if and when you’re caught, you’ll be beaten like
butter. I’ve said my own. A word is enough. But because some are not wise, I’ve taken the pain to write a
thousand to sensitize us not only to the need for a restructuring of the system that should be enforcing our
rights, but also, the need to mind our own damn business. Thank you.

I guess I’m done for this episode. Some people probably think I’m crazy for this. Well…. I’m only trying to
protect your best interests. Till next time, I’ve been Ignis, and thanks for dropping by.
By the way, if you have not collected bread from your local government, you’re on a long thing oh!

Written By Mayowa Akinyemi

Published By Great Opara

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2017 in Columns, The Wild Lounge

 

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I

I

Break every ground

Loosen all shackles

Make every sound

Cause beautiful sparkles

And I

Lift souls

End cries

Remould

Make high

But I

Can make you shiver

Can tear you up

Can eat up livers

Can make hearts stop

Because I

Am the known devil

The cause of sin

The barricade into heaven

Will never let you in

So I

Give you a chance to run

An option to stay

A choice to burn

A chance to seize the day

Before I

Make my will done

Leave you with no choice

Make myself your god

Make you wallow in the gallows of sorrowful noise

Written By Ayomide Alajogun

 
 

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SPORT REVIEW – FLUFA CLUB SYSTEM FINAL

All roads led to the Unilag Sports Centre main bowl ,for the highly anticipated FLUFA club system final .
With Dorchester United the only unbeaten side in the tournament taking on surprise package Vado FC whose road to the final was far from easy .
Earlier in the campaign Dorchester knocked five (5) goals past a helpless Vado team ,but that seemed to have sparked the resurgence in the “team of choice”. With subsequent victories over this year’s flops Skylords and favourites MAFIA FC who got knocked out on goal difference .

Before the match Dorchester forward and leading marksman Ayodeji was rumoured to be out with a nibbling knee injury . Whereas Vado also had influential midfielder Yusuf who suffered a twisted ankle ,but both players however miraculously passed the fitness test and were able to feature for their teams in this do -or- die clash .

The match kicked off amidst excitement and immediately Vado opened with a statement of intent unleashing the first attack on goal with a long throw by Tochukwu but this was acrobatically cleared by John triggering a counter attack for Dorchester which Victor should have converted after given a clear sight of goal.

Dorchester slowly began to become more involved in the game and Macho won a freekick dangerously close to the opposition box which he took but his finishing let him down as it flew high and wide.
Seyilaw then dahsed down the left flank showing his amazing pace but the Dorchester defence covered properly and conceded a corner off Yusuf ,which he took but the resulting corner was really poor as it failed to find anyone .

Vado FC embarked on another flowing move with Varlo sending a cross field ball into the box but seyilaw failed to make contact as he is well marshalled and the follow up from Vicole wayward.

Both teams seemingly had a flurry of attacks but poor decision making and lack of quality in the final third let them down .end to end stuff .
Another nice move from Vado via Kay who drove into the opposing half ,taking a shot which was well wide .

Vado won another another freekick deep in the opposition half which Kay opted to take short to Varlo who also shot waywardly.

Dorchester who had been under the stick for much of the first half finally got another counter which was subsequently wasted by Victor from close range .He also picked up a loose ball on the flank and took another wild shot over .his finishing certainly let him down .

Vicole then proceeded down the left flank before striking the ball which somehow beat Cannon in goal for Dorchester .1-0 to Vado .What a terrible mistake from the goalie.

The game was restarted and immediately Dorchester applied the pressure they seemed to have been sparked to life by that goal and Ayodeji drew the foul just outside the box,he had been unusually quiet .John took it and beat Uqbah in goal .what an equaliser ..1-1 .GAME ON!!!!!

Dorchester with renewed vigour took the game to Vado plying relentless pressure on the vadorian defence ,with a series of blocked shots by Macho and Khalil with the latter’s alleged to have struck the hand of a defender but the follow up from Victor hit the post an out for a goal kick.

The resulting goal kick was taken deep into the heart of the Dorchester defence and again Cannon made a hash of it and allowed AB poke home into the empty net .2-1 Vado..the goalie is all to blame .

Vado managed to see out the reminder of the first half .
Dorchester resumed the second stanza the same way they started the first but that all went away as both teams began to exhibit drab and poor football .Totally not we expected from a cup final .Vado however had no problem with this ,sitting on their lead .
The lacklustre second half was drawing to a close with the trophy seemingly going to Vado but John had other ideas ,as Martin who came on was brought down outside the box .John took the freekick and placed it to perfection ,forcing penalties .All square!!.

In the penalties Dorchester were first to face the penalty spot with leading scorer Ayodeji calmly striking the ball home .Advantage Dorchester .

Next up was Seyilaw he also dispatched his with ease. John then put Dorchester into the lead ,before Kay restored parity .
Martin was next and he sent Uqbah the wrong way,Vado responded with a brilliant penalty from Varlo .

Consequently ,Pelumi and Lenny all converted their spotkicks and Vado also had a response with Vicole and Tochukwu all drawing them level, sending the game into sudden death .

Then came Stephen Ojo ,the incumbent sports secretary ,lo and behold he blazed his kick way over the bar ,some zaza kinda shii there .what a waste for Dorchester and advantage Vado .Then came the time of young starlet Dami to clinch the title for his team and he calmed his nerves and ripped the ball into the back of the net.

The final whistle blew and everyone present went wild “the team of choice ” had conquered the beast .Kudos to the entire Vado team to the despair of Dorchester UNITED and Ojo Stephen who missed the decisive penalty .

Review by Efemena Enivwenaye

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2017 in Sports Yarn

 

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I, NOCTURNAL, NOCEUR

I understand in life there’s a cycle for everything, and furthermore, there is the average standard to these cycles, of which you mustn’t fall below or above.
You see, above all cycles is the lifecycle, where a person cannot die too young or else he was killed by superficial forces ,or live too old as then, he would be tagged as the superficial force behind the death of his younger generations.
Embedded in this major cycle, is the eating cycle, where you can’t eat a little too little else you’re tagged sick or a bit too much and you’re called glutton.
Then there’s also the growth cycle where you can’t be too short for your age else you’re asked to overdose on pulse (beans), or too tall and then you’re condemned to the basketball court.You can’t be too thin else you have sickle cell or you’re too fat and you’re almost never getting a boyfriend i.e you’re obese😂😂.

Most important of these cycles, to me is the “sleep cycle”. What standard time, of the 24hours in one day, is the human body and mind paralysed to sleep and it’s activities numbed to slumber?. Biology tells me to every human, 8 hours of an ephemeral bedrest is allocated. Logically calculated this would be from 11pm-6am. When a person falls short of the yardstick of this highly exhorted cycle , he is named after Jonah i.e sleepyhead, Lazy, or ornery, all qualifying “Abnormal”.

On a first note, I’m lucid at night and a great slug by daybreak. Before you tag me “lazy, ornery,or sluggard ” allow me justify myself by giving a breakdown of my night plan, after the lights are out and every other normal mortal assumes their hibernation.

10:55pm…
My average African mum walks into my room, reminds me of how my usual excuse of sleeping late would not be tantamount an excuse to wake up late.She shuts the door mumbling something about how my mates are all asleep, in a bid to be up and doing the next day. I sulk under my sheets, faking my own sleep (although at this moment I wish the sleep was legitimate). I struggle , trying to keep my eyelids shut and actually try to really sleep. About two scenes from the day, come into limelight behind my eyelids and this completely flopps every plan I have to sleep at the normal time nature recquires.

11pm…
Everywhere’s dead silent now. The noise of the silence awakens my eyes back to the reality of the phone I tucked into my pillowcase at the sound of my mum’s footsteps five minutes ago.I begin to reply all my messages, including the unnecessary broadcasts with a “thank you“😩.All in a bid to discover abnormals as myself. I frolic up and around Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat as I unleash my stalking personae. At this point I remember how PHCN will not bring light in the light of the day and how I must save my subscription. I chat a little more and then I put my phone on flight mode.
3am…
At this point I tell myself its time to sleep and once again try the “eyelids shut” technique of sleeping. Sudden clatters from the kitchen indicate that the fellow nocturnals of the other specie are wide awake.I remember my mum once likened me to a rodent , and I remember the half opened cookies in the fridge. I am reminded of the sordid state of hunger my stomach is in and sneak out and back in, making a grab for the cookie. I carefully munch it in and tuck the wrap under my bed to displace any proof of my theft. I am thirsty from the stolen cookie, and once again sneak into the kitchen to get a drink from the dispenser, this time almost squashing a mouse with my foot. I hurry back after my drink and I’m determined to sleep now. Except, as i lay to sleep, I remember that I have a crush on Lanre and another round of “nightdreaming” begins. I think about what I could do to catch his attention. I remember stalking his page and seeing all those “instagram girls ” comment flirtatiously on his “hot hot” posts. Then I convince myself or instead, confuse myself, that he’d rather be into a girl like me. I dream of our prospective awkward moments of love, what marriage would feel like looking into his eyes as he looks fit in his tuxedo and I look my prettiest in my silvery white wedding dress. I then think of the famous ‘wedding night” and I’m rushed back to the reality that I’ll always be to him, if he ever noticed, the girl across his library desk. Then I console myself with the thought that one day I’d drive a Benz into the faculty in a hot black dress,dark shades , flerky hair and make up, and then, he’ll be only an option to me ☺.

5am…
The cock Iya Pelumi gave my mum as a christmas present lets out its alarming first crow and then I begin to panic. Thinking , I had just one hour left to sleep, after I once again jeopardised my bedtime. I promise myself I’d sleep only for an hour with the intent of cheating nature. Soon I am unaware of my environment and deep asleep.

10am…
I toss and turn in my sheets, wondering why the room felt unusually hot. I reluctantly open my eyes to check if the fan was still rolling and I am almost blinded by the sharp ray of the Sun from my window. I hurriedly check my phone, my mind blown off and my mouth wide agape. I rush to view my alarm icon and I soon see my notification “Missed alarm :5:30am; 5:35am; 5:40am; 5:45am, 5:50am; 5:55am; 6:00am“.
Noooo, I have a test for 10:30am“, I scream running into the bathroom with the intention of doing the infamous “rubb and shine “.

Ps : I dosed all through my test and subsequent lectures.
Ps: It’s a repeated cycle😓.

Written By Folashade Edun

Published By Great Opara

 

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